Bugs floating in place
Death goes sprinting before me
I probe the unknown
A contest entry
- Haiku Workshop by azure85.
600 points, ended July 24, 2008, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Bugs floating in place
Death goes sprinting before me
I probe the unknown
There are some very interesting thoughts within your haiku. Haiku are usually written with images/sensations that are observed, your last two lines are statements. What could you use to show us these thoughts? You may revise as often as you want to or not before the enc of the contest. Thank you so much.

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This is a nice haiku. I guess you enjoy the typical 5-7-5 style. If you would like to consider a shorter haiku I would probaly remove ing from floating and goes from the second line but it is fine the way it is with good imagery


