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The Wall

The wall’s infernal and internal
The wall’s akin to doubts within
The wall is vernal and external
The wall within is your Berlin

The wall will tout until you shout
The wall keeps in your thankless sin
The wall keeps out the hopeless doubt
The wall within is your Berlin

The wall will part and break a heart
The wall within divides Berlin
The wall of art keeps us apart
The wall within is your Berlin

The wall’s infernal and internal
The wall within is your Berlin

 

 

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Author notes

Kyrielle Sonnet with internal and end rhyme; a study in epanaphora.

If you count them, I believe this is the only sonnet ever composed with 56 perfect and identical   rhymes in it.

perfect rhyme: full rhyme, true rhyme : These terms refer to the immediately recognizable norm: true/blue, mountain/fountain.

identical rhyme: A word rhymes with itself, as in Emily Dickinson's "Because I Could not Stop for Death".

 

Kyrielle Sonnet:
A Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet). Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be:
AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 56 of 56

  • Kendal Palmer gold member
    August 26

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    I normally have a detachment from poetry that requires more words to explain it's meaning or how it is written than the words that actually make up the piece. However, I found this piece to be very engaging. I liked how you ended the lines with... The wall within is your Berlin, this really drives home your point and allows for the magnitude of the write to really shine through. Thank you for entering the contest.
    peace & light,
    Kendal


  • Ken-Maverick
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For some reason this poem gave me chills and brought back a few memories that...
    Well lets just say, things of the past

    Such a unique write on this topic
    Well done and congrats on the shiny

    Ken


  • Haygood gold member
    December 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's really hard to break new ground when you are there first. Bravo on this. You have set the bar high for new writers of form. This is great!


  • Swan song gold member
    November 13, 2008
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    Dear you are stunning!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wish I could tear down this wall within.
    I see those soldiers , Lane saw.
    Joe


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 29, 2008
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    I love it this is truly well written sis!!!!

  • Mickie27
    October 28, 2008

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    Excellent I love the way the words dance on the page it really does sing. This is absolutely priceless!


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 25, 2008

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    This is like a chant...
    i had a vision of hundreds
    of tiny little soldiers marching
    to this. Don't ask me why...
    i think the michigan cold is
    effecting my brain cells....

    Love, Lane


    • Amera gold member
      October 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for spending time with me tonight. Your comments mean so much to me. I see that your bunny fund is running low so I'm increading your allowance.

  • piccola silver member
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice job. I am a fan of end-line rhyme ... not so much internal but this is very good. The only time I've ever been able to master a sonnet of any kind was when kirbysman helped me. Anyway, this is great.


  • Tirrell
    October 2, 2008

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    The rhymes are enjoyable though, and you hardly notice them for they are seemless, and part of the rhythem flowing through this sonnet, it is a wonderful Kyrielle
    and a nice psycological view of our internal inhabitions. A very profoundly moving sonnet, graced in rhyme.


  • masterblaster gold member
    September 24, 2008

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    Hi, I have been meaning to come and read your lovely poetry for some time, but problems have stopped me, at last I have managed to do it, this is a lovely K.sonnet and so well done, all the best, kind regards Di


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 20, 2008

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    An extraordinary work of art...the form is wonderful...perfect flow and rhyme...you are amazing...I love this...excellent!
    mystic

  • Cup-a-Joe
    September 18, 2008
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    Awesome form poetry. I was amazed at how it flowed.
    Joe


  • Pisces Pieces
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The rhythm and flow, including the rhyme are very... pleasing, they make the reading enjoyable in a different sort of way. I don't really know how to explain it but hopefully you know what I mean.

    This is such a fantastic write! But of course, you are a fantastic writer

    ♥


  • Ellis gold member
    September 15, 2008

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    Quite Remarkable

    Poem dealt here is an ace
    Here inside its hidden place
    Among words of flowing pace
    Wrapped in sound of finest lace

  • wendymolly
    August 13, 2008

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    I'm a brand new Kyrielle Sonnet Fan!!!!
    You made my head swim with anticipation all the way to the last word, not many prose have done that for me as this has... one word, EXCELLENCE.
    take care always,
    ~pithyAplomB.


  • sailor ptolema
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The other day, the line

    "The wall is your Berlin"...crept into my mind.
    So then I had to come read it again .
    I wonder how long it took you to write this excellent piece

    ~Meg


    • Amera gold member
      August 8, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Oh thank you! It took about two hours. I wrote it for a contest but thought it turned out to well to have someone slap a green trophy on it so I removed it.


      • sailor ptolema
        August 8, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I feel like a poem like this would take me days lol .
        Free verse takes me days to write lol.
        Well, I liked it a lot .


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    August 5, 2008

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    You are just too much!
    Accomplishing first and only's, impossible feats, and extraordinary writing... I never know what to expect from you and you never cease to amaze me.

    I absolutely love this.

    The Berlin references are wonderful and quite effective.

    Again, more proof that you will go down in history as this century's greatest poet!


  • xCandieKissesx
    August 5, 2008

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    Clever.

    Wow! This piece is filled with originality and creativity! It's so cool!

    The wall’s infernal and internal
    The wall within is your Berlin

    Those lines are seriously powerful! Good job!


  • Age of Rain
    August 1, 2008
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    *jaw drops* How much time did you spend writing this wonderful piece? Clever, original, and such a profoundly well crafted poem. "The Berlin Wall" is an astounding metaphor. Superlative poetry. Truly stunning. *stops singing praises before you get bored*


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    July 27, 2008

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    Absolutely Amazing!

    The effort you devoted into short simple rhymes to make a very strong statement that speaks total truth is highly impressive! You're a beautiful person Amera! I love the metaphor of the Berlin wall and the many versions of the walls we put up over time, through tragedy in our lives with each brick of doubt.

    I'm so proud to have met you,
    She-ra*hear*

  • Swan song gold member
    July 27, 2008
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    WOW!!! i enjoyed the way it slid off my tongue soooooo good!!!


  • Shya
    July 26, 2008

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    Thought-provoking, and good job with the rhymes. I'm wondering how to interpret this... well-written.


  • Desire gold member
    July 26, 2008

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    Wowzers~~

    Is there a time You don't need Your brain
    I would be Honored to babysit it
    This is one Gorgeous piece and Congratulations on it Spotlighted!!
    Eventually before I turn 100, I'll try this form
    You are a Beautiful!!
    Thank You for sharing Your Talent and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in all You do Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • pieplate
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the edifying words about a Kyrielle sonnet, a new form for me. I wonder if this could be rearranged into a ghazal? You use so many identical rhymes that you are at least half-way there.


  • AnonymousXO
    July 26, 2008

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    I love the rhymes here. They are perfect. Incredibly well written! And, as if this isnt supriseing, I cant thing of a thing to critisize it with.
    Anonymousxo

  • dreamofolwin
    July 26, 2008
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    I loved this poem. It is very well written ,nd expressed.TOP MARKS!


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Way to go Cubby, excellent! New scratching tree for you and some Cape Buffalo hindquarters next hunt.

    Meet me at the watering hole over by that dead croc and we'll go prowl the eastern boundary of our territory.

    Dad

  • Eusebius
    July 25, 2008

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    bravo

    I absolutely love the sound, and the old Berlin Wall is a twice potent image and metaphor! Just an excellent poem! bravo... bravo... bravo..


  • NeonRose
    July 25, 2008
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    Yes! You've done it again, Amera! Fantastic!


  • Ithica silver member
    July 23, 2008

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    As if composed "brick by brick" you have composed a solid wall of poetic genius... I have come to expect nothing less... from YOU!!!

  • mama-drama
    July 17, 2008
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    wow! you blew me off my mind...now, this is a real poet!

  • lkhvliwhtwreutfFUSD
    July 17, 2008

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    very touching

    This piece seems to speak of the wall we all build with in ourself to preserve our heart or kill it. Very Freudian, I love the depth and the comarison to subjective imprisonment. An awesome read!


  • mafiagirl13
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful and very well written... I love this

    JADE RAYNE*


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are definitely seducing me to Form Poetry!!

    This spoke to me of the walls we erect around ourselves as a protection.. and that is something that I know all too well!! Sigh...

    I really like the repetition in the form, it adds weight to the message!


  • HeavensDaughter
    July 9, 2008

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    Amazing write! This poem is filled with truth...deep truth...so well stated!

    It is simple...and yet seems to be a very complicated form. As usual, I am very impressed with your ability to follow form and yet get a clear message across.

  • Jade Jefferies
    July 8, 2008

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    The device of repeating the opening words on each line works very well here, emphasising the obstructive theme, the internal and external rhyming are superbly done and especially remarkable in an 8 syllable sonnet, they could easily have totally over-powered the piece, and yet they don't here.
    A remarkable poem on very many levels.


  • Skybow silver member
    July 8, 2008

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    Wonderful write Amera!

    So powerful and so true. The wall protects as well as isolates. It can both nurture and stifle us if we don't find a way to lower the drawbridge at our command. I loved this poem.


  • Life is a Beach gold member
    July 7, 2008
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    Superlative! ***Pam***


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Strong, deep and true. Well written thoughts.
    But I hate repetition. My bad, everyone else seems to really like them.
    Probably my earlier schooling, repeat, repeat, repeat unitl you get it right. Oh, I still hate school too.

    But I love your perfection of form.


  • blueyez
    July 7, 2008

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    the huh? the wall... lol this is my fav form of sonnet and you know sonnets are my ultimate fav
    love it!
    Peace and Love


  • Faeryn
    July 7, 2008

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    Wow! This is amazing! I love the topic too; it can relate on a personal level and a historical one.
    Love,
    Tay

  • Lucille
    July 7, 2008
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    *sighs* great as always, just absolutely beautiful....


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    July 7, 2008
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    When will you run out of forms!!!
    the Wall
    Pink Floyd could not have said it better


  • echo-ink
    July 7, 2008

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    Amera, I don't know what this poem meant to anyone else,

    but boy, didn't it hit me in the heart of my wall, I have built up so may walls around myself, some for protection, some for excuses, some to blame others, or keep others out side my heart, this had so much depth and meaning in so many diff. areas of life, this was amazing, your IQ must be a couple of gazillion to put this much insight into so few words. AWESOME. i loved this soooo much. it's getting bookmarked. love, D.xx


  • Cup-a-Joe
    July 7, 2008

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    Amera,
    I really can relate to this.
    Love this line-The wall’s akin to doubts within.
    Nice.
    Joe


  • Poetry-and-rhyme
    July 7, 2008

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    oh sis i like the walll that you have penned ins such sweet form and rhyme so well thought words and ideas i love you siss
    and all that you doo i love them sooo


  • HaleyMary
    July 7, 2008

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    This is amazing. It seems every time I read a new sonnet by you, it's more amazing than the last. I liked the repetition of the last line in each stanza. This piece flowed wonderfully. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.

  • Eusebius
    July 7, 2008
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    bravo

    Oh, this is exceptional! Marvelous! I would not even begin to attempt it! This is exquisitly done in every regard! I loved it, loved it, absolutely loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 7, 2008
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    "the wall within is your Berlin".....
    this line hit me like Babe Ruth's bat.
    Damn. Another poem to aspire to.
    Love you, Lane


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    July 7, 2008

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    Wow Amera what a cool form this is. the repeating of the wall liek that works so well..so does the other repeating...your thoughts penned out so well



    Cindy


  • PerVirtuous
    July 7, 2008

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    This is an amazing effort of short simple rhymes making a massively important statement. The repetitiveness of this form only adds to the meaning as that is how such walls are build, not by one traumatic event, but by millions of doubting little thoughts. You have captured that perfectly here in such a gifted manner! Most people are divided and work at cross-purposes to themselves. The Berlin wall is the perfect metaphor. Kudoes and bunnies for you!

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