Seems like it's harder
To recall your face; please, don't
Slip away again
Author notes
I know this is short -all haiku are- and really doesn't do her justice... but I've been trying to write a poem about her for awhile and I just can't find the words... not poetically at least.
Jasmine was in a car wreck like two months after we met. She was in a coma, and on life support for awhile... but she died.
I miss her still... we were just starting to become friends... and then she was just gone. Only six months have passed... and already, I find myself unable to remember what her voice sounded like exactly.
I don't want to forget her...
A contest entry
- Haiku Workshop by azure85.
600 points, ended July 24, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What's your interpretation of the poem? What do you think of it overall?
Comments
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Seems like it's harder
To recall your face; please, don't
Slip away again
I am sorry to hear about this, may you never forget her.
Tishu is correct, it is not correct for a haiku-but you can change it into a tanka, where the emotions are allowed to be spoken. I think remembering her is the important point.
the coma
finally ends~
it seems harder
to recall your face,
don't slip away
My thoughts are with you.
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A very emotional piece, understandably from your notes.
Unfortunately, I cannot pass comment on it as part of a haiku workshop, as it does not meet the criteria that would categorise it haiku. Maybe as part of a longer piece would do these emotions justice.
Alan -
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wow even when short words like these say a lot more than people think. i'm sorry for what happened and i can only wish you the best and go on. I know its scary to forget someone because you'll lose the memories but just remind yourself everyday that you at least had memories with her.
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thank you, so very much. *hugs*
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*hugs back* you are a good person. good things will come your way. don't worry. just wait. don't look. wait...
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