Living to get
getting to gain
the cycle rewinds
replays the same;
this can't be the plan
but the spin
doesn't stop.
We're centrifugal ears
that hear out of tune
on a carnival ride
that makes weak eyes roll.
Out of focus, out of kilter
our feet shuffle in place--
hands hang limp--
stiff hearts can't embrace.
I'm thinking of defying
amusement park rules;
throw my hands in the air,
leap off with the ride
in motion;
unbuckle restraints
and just
let
go . . .
Comments
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notice the feeling of this and many can really relate to it..great wordings and metaphors are awesome
you've put it together nicely...
Keep penning!!!
Lieu
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Nice use of metaphor - I do like the sentiments expressed by your poetic voice, it's almost as if he/she's saying up yours to convention and good on you for that. The expression of freedom is definitley something I can relate to. Love the use of language to convey feeling and the structure is excellent, the tailing in the final stanza works really well. Great write, thanks for sharing. Keep up the excellent work.
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JUMP!
NICE. I definitely know what you're talking about, I LOVE this depiction...
Definitely have wanted to do the same thing before too, always have, probably always will
UGH
i love this.
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