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out of reach

shivers run more quickly than my
anticipation of your descent into
love's passion and reaching for it now

Author notes

prompt:
Are you desiring someone that is not within your reach?

I love my Hindu queen Riftkin

18 words

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • wonderbandalice
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    oops,
    Total - 42/50 OU 84%

  • wonderbandalice
    July 22
    Edit | Reply
    -flow ( 10/10 )
    -subject ( 9/10 )
    -fitting title ( 5/5 )
    -word choice ( 3/5 )
    -originality ( 7/10 )
    -spelling and grammar ( 4/5 )
    -how much I like it, basically. ( 3/5 )

    It flowed very well, but I don't feel that it got the message across. I didn't really get what it was about until I read the author's notes.
    • carole21
      July 23
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      since you didn't understand the poem, I removed it fromt the contest . . nitpicks I don't need . .

  • theredcatjazzoflove gold member
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    your author notes does not have what is requied to run in the finalist with the other contestants best wishes in another contest
    • carole21
      July 14
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      added it afterwards . . wasn't online due to no access . .
1 - 5 of 5