Heaven’s tears through streetlight streaming.
People rushing, heads down, dreaming
Of lighted rooms with heat and T.V.
Heads don’t turn so they don’t see me.
The invisible man in shabby clothing.
I’ve known kindness, I’ve known loathing.
I’ve known family, I’ve known gladness,
I’ve known pain and I’ve known sadness.
I’ve been stupid and I’ve been wise.
I’m all of you in another guise.
My path tonight won’t lead me home.
I’ll wander through these streets alone.
One false step along life’s highway
Has sent me down another by way
My feet were set on foreign roads.
My country called, I had to go
I’ve seen sights that haunt me still.
I learned to fight, I learned to kill.
A child dies, a marriage ends.
One drink too many you lose your friends.
The love, the joy, the pain, the sorrow.
Yesterday’s dreams and lost tomorrows.
I keep behind this weathered face,
Locked inside that private place.
But you can go there if you choose,
If you don’t have a lot to lose.
Drop some coins into this tin,
I’ll put into words the state you’re in.
I’ll rhyme your pain on a paper sheet,
Because I see you, now you see me.
Author notes
This poem was inspired by the character in the song "Sunday Morning Coming Down" by Johnny Cash. To me Cash is country music. Clean, sharp lyrics and every song is a story. I defy anybody to be unable to find a Johnny Cash song that they can't identify with in some way.
MANINBLACK
A contest entry
- To Thine Own Self Be True by Lotus-Mama.
700 points, ended July 9, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Lovers For Poetry by Silver Asylum.
700 points, ended September 18, 2008, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Music Inspired by Hated..
550 points, ended January 20, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can't sing? Can write? Enter your songs here! by upperworld06.
700 points, ended March 23, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Drop some coins into this tin,
I’ll put into words the state you’re in.
love that. great rhyme and flow. saw it more as kind of rock than country though, i guess thats the problem with just reading the lyrics. great job and thanks for entering -
lovely work, and as I try not to enter contests with prewrites, I feel that yours is evidently worthy of one, not unpteen, and sadly, undoes all the good intended. It seems, like as I think, that fresh writes should inspire us to write instead of sleeping on stret corners. But it doesn't take away the fact it is very well written. Titian
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interesting and powerful, i think the last stanza is definitely the best, thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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What a powerful and confident poem! And a wonderful tribute to Johnny Cash, someone who stood head-and-shoulders above others in his genre. You're right - there is always one of his songs that resonates - I can remember crying my eyes out when I first heard his version of "Hurt".
The poem itself: It has a feel to it which seems to chime with Cash's own song about why he always wore black. Excellent. I like it very much.
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Awesome!
This is such a detailed insight of a homeless individuals mind. They are individual, although they unfortunately landed up in the same current situation, begging for money. I love this poem. It's absolutely.. perfect. ^_^ -
i love that you wrote this first person point of view, it really make a very, very powerful statement, and gets you thinking about the people you pass by on the streets, what is his story. it made me think of a homeless man who was recently killed in a hit and run and they never found his killer, what an amazing poem!
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I can't express how much I can relate to this poem. It was so astounding; involving things and themes that usually would be left untouched in such a beautiful, petite and serene manner. This was truly amazing and my breath was stricken from me.
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x -
Wow
I really loved this poem. I also loved your artist choice, I like Johnny Cash's music a lot...actually on my playlist I have the Social Distortion version of Ring of Fire. It's neat. Anyways...back to the mission at hand... my favorite part of this poem was
"My country called, I had to go
I’ve seen sights that haunt me still.
I learned to fight, I learned to kill."
Me, personally, I am 99.8% of the time always for solving things with peace, but I have a very strong military family. I lost a great-grandfather in WWII and my uncle is still recovering from mental trauma from the Vietnam War, and I know a lot of those sights can do that to a person. We're not machines that can look at blood and violence and make it all go away, war changes people. Great write and good luck in the contest...
~*~Zenity
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Cash is very much like any and every one and you cannot deny connecting to his songs this is a great poem!!
best of luck
--kat -
This was beautifully written! The images and emotions were wonderful! Great job!
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wonderful write beautiful imagery here, thanks and good luck
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Thank you
That was a really encouraging comment. Makes the effort seem worthwhile. Thanks again.
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