A schooner assuming
treacherous shoals,
violent reefs
blemish deceitful quays.
You beg irradiations
of the fresnel lens,
to grasp and coil the
swirl of your desire.
Need’s glowing lumens
too glaring to dare reveal,
too ardent to encumber.
Frantic.
Curled parchments
corked inside drained
sacramental vintner phials,
hurled onto the waves;
slathered over and slung
by drooling gargoyles;
leering specters,
who, for no moment
conceive how to breathe...
or to cherish.
Which unumvir can know the
grace of sinewy strength,
artful brutality,
and ferocious love,
Yet not yield
to malignity?
Your vision is the scarred warrior;
wounded,
crusted with healings;
guarded still,
yet supple.
Interlopers become acquainted
with his blades and justice.
Those he loves,
glimpse cloaked,
tender compassion
illuming visor shadows.
The heat breathes,
The soul sighs,
The Warrior seeks the Princess,
The Princess yields to the gaze
of certainty.
Neither is whole
until tethered
symbiosis fuses
their ethers.
Light once dispersed,
seized by the fresnel
anneals their
vastness of needs,
epiphanies of desire,
their syncretistic hearts.
Synaptic synergies.
The key's brass bevels
find staggered cylinders,
flinging both into vastitudes
only their union could foment.
Author notes
phial - bottle.
fresnel lens - a large lens with a surface of concentric grooves of prismatic profile ... early examples were hand rendered, polished glass lenses used to amplify and clarify weak light sources like oil lamps for installations in lighthouses.
syncretistic - the attempted reconciliation or union of different or opposing principles, practices, or parties, as in philosophy or religion.
Unumvir: Ok, busted, not a real word. Triumvir is a word related to a three person (man) ruling or leading entity in Roma times. In later times the triumvirs of Rome were three men who jointly exercised sovereign power. Julius C[ae]sar, Crassus, and Pompey were the first triumvirs; Octavianus (Augustus), Antony, and Lepidus were the second and last. This made up word unumvir patches the Latin word for one and the root "vir" as a reference to virile. Virile is an adjective, so this is a way to convert it into a noun. a single virile person, or man, or ruling force.
A contest entry
- Winklings Celebrates its 100th Contest (A Series) - Contest D - REOPENED by Lyndon.
3500 points, ended August 19, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS THREE by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 5, 2008, 47 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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thank you for the author notes. Those of us with not so brilliant vocabularies should probably be made to use a dictionary though. Lazy minds you know ... thank you for entering (no, I am not being sarcastic)
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Vocabulary was excellent and the use of these words was no less stunning the way you placed them.
Well done!
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I am floored with this stunner. The sea has crept into each of my bones and through my blood with this beauty.
I was wondering about unumvir and so pleased for your author notes. Very cleverly done dear poet. I have NO idea how we are going to judge this contest.
Superb. ~Pamela
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I am taken aback at this gold among such gifted poets in this contest. Very grateful, and humbled.
I feared it too much work to wade through, at least I am told, so thank you for graciously marching through the maze.
Thank you for the bling.
RW -
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You earned this gold with every word. Excellent work! Such a joy to see your name pop up with the contest close. Congratulations poet!
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Wow...
This poem curls and uncurls like the constantly flowing river of time. Your vocabulary is exceptional, and while this occasionally gives the piece a glossy varnish, your sparse metaphorical episodes bring new meaning to the age-old elements of love and war.
This is a difficult poem to describe, because it truly is a piece that demands to be reread so that one can absorb its beauty. You blend the lexicon of Nabokov with the lilting lyricism of Leonard Cohen.
A stunning achievement. -
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You are kind in your compliments to the point I must gaze at my shoes. I figured I topped out on the prissy words and would be castigated for that. so thanks for sparing me that, although it is probably deserved.
so you see this an allegory to war as well? interesting.
your literary references exceed my knowledge, but thank you.
RW -
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Well, war and love can be interchangeable sometimes... mostly your use of the words "blades and justice" made me see the poem in that light.
Vladimir Nabokov was a Russian writer known for his writing which had an extensive vocabulary. Leonard Cohen is a Canadian poet and singer-songwriter that has written such famous songs as "Hallejuah" and "Bird on a Wire".
Both can be easily Googled.
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Yes thanks. Knew the names but not familiar enough with their work to imagine what the blend might manifest. I did enter a contest once where the contest holder issued the contestant two writers and the object was to try to blend them into a piece. I received Kafka and Tom Robbins. What an unholy marriage. I'll provide a link if you like. That nearly made me schitzed for a while.
I would talk about the blade and its metaphor, but I have friends here who get mad when I start "explaining" the pieces. So thank you for that interpretation.
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Superb
Wow, unique and challenging to say the least. I enjoyed the imagery. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
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You are... excuse my language... fucking amazing. I absolutely LOVE the vocabulary... the imagery, the visions you portray with your words... I am just in awe. fake words or not, you make the abstract turn into outstanding images. I love it!
From one intellectual to another.
You have impressed me.
~ Kerri
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Thanks for reading Saline.
I look at it and realize I was being self indulgent with the prissy vocabulary, which is a trap I sometimes fall into. Just love words, but they need to intertwine with the story or impression, and sometimes I just tack them on the board.
So thanks for the indulgence and kind words.
If you like this kinda crap I have more high-faluting language and obscure message types I can point you to.
A problem with facility with language is it provides some cover for the rawness of the emotional content, which is diversionary in someways.
oh well.
thanks again.
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I thoroughly enjoyed this poem. Sure it was laboursome at times and somewhat wordy, but I adored the imagery, imagination and the resonance of the words as they sounded reading the poem aloud.
Well done. -
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I am especially honored that you invested in reading the piece aloud. Thank you for that and your comment.
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Judge:
I am certainly not saying this is bad. One of the things I am looking for in this contest is some things I can enjoy reading. It’s not your fault I lack your vocabulary. I am going to remove your poem to make way for another entry. I hope there are no hard feelings.
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Though this was at times as difficult as reading a scientific thesaurus, I very much enjoyed the challenge. It seems (with no surprise) that with greater breadth of knowledgeable vocabulary, one can also expand his/her ability to stretch linguistic creativity. With several thorough reads, I could say with certainty that I really enjoyed:
"slathered over and slung
by drooling gargoyles;
leering specters,
who, for no moment
conceive how to breathe...
or to cherish."
Then once I knew what "unumvir" meant, I also found delight in:
"Which unumvir can know the
grace of sinewy strength,
artful brutality,
and ferocious love,
Yet not yield to malignity?"
That certain strength which does not come with frailty. Thank you for this exotic, alluring piece.
jen
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"Though this was at times as difficult as reading a scientific thesaurus.."
I know, I know. I get carried away once the dollar coin words start waving themselves at me. I probably need to go through it and sub out about 3 or 4 of them. Some though are just so compelling, like a single word poem in themselves, at least to me.
Others have told me my stuff takes too much work. So that feedback has caused me to pause. But mostly I feel great gratitude to those who put in the effort.
So Rendezvous (excellent name by the way, especially for the fact you read it several times, I thank you. There is a compelling story in there, but perhaps too much like an arcane mystery.
RW -
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I do not doubt that your story is one worth every exertion of research. And I think it quite laudable to remain steadfast to your esoteric style of writing; my own work (and speech) has been accused of inaccessibility similarly. However, as I've told others faced with the same commentary, I tell you not to be swayed. Inaccessibility does not denote desertibility. They're admirable, off-beat marchers. You're highlighted in dark rooms.
And I curtsy before your compliments. Thank you. -
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And I curtsy before your compliments. Thank you.
thank you for that honor. Curtsies are for royalty, I am but a Knight, a nod and waft of your silks are more than enough. Thank you.
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