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the day his heart stood still

walking away
 
I don't know what to say.

Say you love me, that's a start.

You know I can't say that. I don't feel that way.
It's useless to lie to you, just to trick your heart and mind into
thinking I love you.

Well, why now? After all we've been through, this has to be the outcome?

*sighs* I...I don't know how else to say it. I just don't have feelings for you
anymore.

I would hang the moon for you.
I would rearrange the stars and re-time the sun, if I could.
If that's what would make you happy.
 
Listen...I'm sorry.

No you're not. Please leave me alone.
Right now my heart aches because its chief resident just moved out.

And who is that?

You.
 

Author notes

Pic Credit: http://raine-angel.deviantart.com/art/The-Day-you-walked-away-7404528

Italics are the girl talking and the bold letters are the guy talking.

Prompt: "I loved you like nothing could ever be lost. I gave you my heart without a price or a cost. The mistake i made when i thought it was true..was sayin three words "I Love you."

Option 2: Write me about a relationship that left you feeling empty, scared, or alone. It doesn’t have to be a romantic relationship. Make it unique.

'ASH-ES'
AP Name: Lowercase Prelude

Option - e. my mother always told me not to play with boys hearts

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • katie-jo
    April 4

    Edit | Reply

    tragic.

    This is so sad, and could definitely happen in real life. If the roles were different, and I was on the losing end of this conversation, I don't know what I would do.
    Thanks for the entry and all the best in the contest.
    Blessings,
    Katie


  • echo-ink
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    This was very creative, and could be a real conversation in real life.
    Great job with this, YAY!


  • Sortingthroughlife
    January 16

    Edit | Reply
    I like how this was done, with the conversation, it flows well, and I could just feel the pain the boy is in, and the mental detachment that the girl had.
    Astounding job


  • I143alllpoetry
    December 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    a conversation like that is so indescribable, but it was so beautiful, it was very really good.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    December 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know exactly how you feel.
    This reminds me of a boyfirned I had, who always abused me emotionally and sometimes sexually.
    I think it helps to put yourself in their POV as well and, to write about it... It helps to have it written out.


  • trekkergirl
    December 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is truly a wonderful write. Just what I wanted to read when I asked for these type of poems. Great job. I can't say enough about this poem except this... I like it a whole lot. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Anu-Nataraj
    November 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aaawwwww
    this is so adorable !!!

    nice write friend !

    good luck in the contest


  • Cavca
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    . . . Interesting. It is a unique style. I actually like it a lot. Good luck. Thanks for entering.


  • God is my reality
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh this is so sad. I can't really see this as a poem, but I see it as a really sad story. Thankyou for entering my contest and it was a pleasure to read this poem


  • movedon
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh wow...This is one of the saddest things I've ever read in my entire life. Heart breaking and tear jerking. I like the conversation style that you used. Best of luck in the contests.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • sensualbutterfly
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heart wrenching! I don't know what is worse, to have them tell you that they don't love you anymore or to just walk away. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem with me.


  • Darkwell
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    its funny how 2 people can feel totally different an not know it until they communicate so thats why its probly important to communicate alot i think

    the poem totally rocks btw

    No you're not. Please leave me alone.
    Right now my heart aches because its chief resident just moved out.

    you can feel how hurt he is i love that part


  • Candy Morphine
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is cool
    i luv how the conversation formed in my mind.

    also really like the title of this poem


  • alesana
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    great

    I liked this one alot. Its diversse


  • Sketchin
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice piece...good luck and thank you for entering.

  • JWGoethe
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    what could be more painful than unrequited love? Ah, the oft lamented theme of many a poetic musing. Well done.


  • Mountainwhispers
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice write I enjoyed reading it!


  • Mistress Masquerade
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thats so sad.. The picture is heart breaking as is the poem that is with it. I like how you made the voices so different. I once actually had a conversation like this... Great write.


  • foryourowngood
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's sad to say but I once wished for a conversation like that. It would have been better than him just leaving and saying nothing at all. But that is the way life goes some times. Nice piece!


  • MaMa-2-be-Cindy
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwwww....so many peopel have had convo's like this for real..so many could easily relate to this one darl

    it touched me..not just caused I have experienced..but more for how you wrote it



    Cind


  • X...
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aww this is the exact conversation me and my ex had over the phone at 1 O'clock gah this hits me hard this is really good

  • celadia
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the twist on this and the take, it shows a great deal of thought on your part, and cleverness, too.


  • Eyes Wide Shut gold member
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awe. Beautiful, but sad.

    The italics and bold brought the poem out. I like how it's like a real setting, not just writing about it.

    Good job.

1 - 23 of 23