Encircling flesh-- rapt in her gaze:
reverberations from her throat caught sublime;
a sideways glance left me terrified.
Devout acolyte to her feminine temple,
where worship commenced at eventide:
I whirled, naked, in the twilight of her eyes.
And she, bemused, writhed and grinned
at the absurdity in which I harbored
trinkets of past lives to offer her.
Each coiled strand that flamed from her mind
stitched a noose; I marched unsteadily,
ready to die again, and exalt as her tribute.
Tightening-- the lock of aria seemed too vast--
she whispered, "Transcend," flashing dark curves
awaiting my emergence from slanted breath.
Author notes
This is a description of what one muse put me through to attain poetic absolution. I've sinned again and must be redeemed.
A contest entry
- Graceful Tongues by rendezvous.
1500 points, ended July 19, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Critique Please! Be RUTHLESS! I LIKE IT ROUGH!
Comments
-
"I marched unsteadily,
ready to die again, and exalt her in tribute.
Tightening-- the lock of aria seemed too vast--
she whispered, "Transcend" flashing dark curves
while awaiting emergence from slanted breath."
You almost lost me in the first few stanzas only to wrap your seine over my attention with your poetic consummation in these last few lines. I didn't expect this piece to go where it went. A wonderful surprise; also, I enjoyed the lessoning of new words: "aria" and "acolyte."
Thank you so much for this stunning entry.
jen
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