Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Changed

Surreal the moments
disallowed stillness
by a transient god -
altered,  even
the hues in my eyes,
even the emotions
that live inside, or
the kiss, that very
first time. Picture this:
and soon, the journey fades
and today becomes another
day, and you go your own
way - even in your daydreams,

I've changed.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • SheWasPreternatural
    December 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now i am a fan. Your flow and choice of words here is simply exquisite. And in many ways this poem reminds me of some of my older poetry.
    "altered, even
    the hues in my eyes,
    even the emotions
    that live inside, or
    the kiss, that very
    first time" - Those words struck deep inside me. Keep up the great work, you have a flair for poetic beauty and descriptive imagery. Your talent leaves me awestruck. -T


    • LadyLavender gold member
      December 9, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much. I question myself as a writer all the time, but its the most freeing thing I've ever done.


  • Shimano
    October 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Heartful Motto

    Hearful Motto to Live By...

    I enjoy te read and leaves the reader with a message

    To Change, and be the Change...

  • a n e s t h e s ia
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Might I use the word Beautiful for a seventh time here? ..
    ..(not that I count words)

    and like a lot of people here I can't quite say why.. other than it's deep, whole, visual poetry with a glowing voice.
    You've truly poured yourself into the blazing depths of the moment.. congrats on the spotlight.

    • LadyLavender gold member
      October 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      oh my...i just found out that it was on spotlight...I wrote this when I was in a very still moment, and then it changed, forever.

      Thank you for the beautiful comment.


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    I love the color play in this piece along with the depth of emotion displayed with words and in the underlying meaning where words stop and emotions from reading take over. Great write. Yours in poetry, gypsy


  • xXundeadXx
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Right now I am to tired to grasp the depth of the colors that flow oh so vibrantly through every word of this beautiful poem. Good write and keep writing because I love this.


  • starrynight3636
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good, but I can't even begin to describe why.
    It just makes a lot of sense and flows so easily. Beautiful word choices make a complete and beautiful poem.


  • Amethyst jean
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this it calls out to me.... i never really thought of it like this tho, this is a really well written poem.

  • PamelaP
    October 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great use of words. Good imagery Well done

  • bluelion
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Deep and interesting you put a lot of thought into this piece of work. It is amazing and a really good write.


  • januaryrain gold member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Brilliant, it gave be goosebumps, this is so real.

    Picture this:
    and soon, the journey fades
    and today becomes another
    day, and you go your own
    way - even in your daydreams,

    I've changed.

    an amazing write, thank you.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful with great imagery.

  • IanArcherW
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well Done!

    Love the imagery, especially lines 10-12


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    fabulous word choice!! This is an incredible write!!! You did a beautiful job!!! This is very elaborate and beautiful!!! I can tell that you wrote this from your heart!! Amazing!! I love it!!


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Quite Good

    This is a very well penned unusual write but it also makes alot of sense and I like thr way it was written. any ways just down right an incredible poem and I liked the sheer depth and ebauty through out this write. keep up the good work


  • Kari gold member
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so good and write up my alley. What people tend to not realize because they get caught up in the storms is the change that goes on in them and around.
    Very well done!


  • McRae by nature
    July 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Picture this:
    and soon, the journey fades
    and today becomes another
    day, and you go your own
    way - even in your daydreams,

    I've changed.


    That is amazing. I know I say it a lot, but you do have a tendency to amaze me That last bit just grabbed me hard and kept me wanting more, yet when the end came, I knew it was time to end. That was just perfect.

    Much Love
    Carrie

  • birds
    July 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the transition between "Picture this:" and "and soon" was brilliant.


  • secberm
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "-even in your daydreams
    I've changed."

    LOL Wow... Nice rat-tat-tat of a flow. Real easy read. Loved it. Good luck and write on, sis. One.

    Dez


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    outstanding!

    Another wonderful write by a most talented poetess!
    I LIKE THIS! Lots of luck in the contest my friend!

1 - 21 of 21