I lie on my bed,
knife in hand;
Entangled in choices.
I think of the things
that I used to love;
Those things that
brightened my day.
The ice-cream, the beaches
options God imposes.
Long grasses and snowmen
and cold puppy noses.
It draws near to my skin
and stays perched in silence;
My mind races.
I think of the feelings
I used to have captured.
Those I disliked but
had me enraptured.
The envy, the ignorance
those gloomy and grim;
The hatred and horror
that came up to my rim.
Getting up, a close call again.
The great outweighs the bad;
Fault of those cold puppy noses.
A contest entry
- Rawr!!!!! Just another contest!!!! by OneWickedJuggalette.
300 points, ended July 15, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hooray for the Andorran Government! by Iambenign.
509 points, ended August 17, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I did enjoy reading the poem but I cant seem to spot the happiness anywhere other than the 3rd and last verses. I was looking for a more cheery poem than this.
Aside from that though I think you have done a good job. Thanks very much for entering. -
I really love this. The contrasting images and emotions are so well-placed, and the struggle between hope and despair is evident without being overstated. I think it's a very powerful poem!
-
Wow. This is really, really good. What makes this poem really good to me is the juxtaposition of ice cream and puppies next to a knife...in my opinion it makes this great.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~




