the air echoes heat
a blast furnace, volcanic
a shimmering light
Author notes
Been trying to work on more pun driven Haikus, and develop erotic or romantic themes still following the old rules..ie must be nature based and infer rather actually define a thing.
A contest entry
- Haiku Workshop by azure85.
600 points, ended July 24, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
think it speaks for itself....
Comments
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ha!
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the air echoes heat
a blast furnace, volcanic
a shimmering light
Tishu gave a very good description of how haiku are written. From a nature viewpoint, L1 "the air echoes heat" would need to be rewritten. Heat is a sensation, how would you illustrate this?
Haiku can have multiple meanings, that is what makes them so fun to create. Thank you so much.
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Hi Mike
Good haiku has simplicity and lightness brought to the reader by using clear concrete images. These images can be contrasted or compared in the way that the poet observed them. Haiku can also indicate the unusual in the usual, or use the wit of puns and other word play.
The observation is paramount, haiku cannot be written from the imagination, it has to be written about what is witnessed by the poet, not felt. This is the part that makes haiku difficult for Western poets.
The now generally accepted form of haiku in English is structured as a fragment and phrase. The phrase, usually being the observed moment the one line fragment bringing something unique or inspiring to the piece. This is typically a two line phrase and a one line fragment, in total not exceeding seventeen syllables but brevity is the key, as long as the piece resonates. Anything more than eleven or twelve syllables total, is likely to be too heavy in modifiers.
The ‘wow’ factor comes from the poet’s observation of the moment - not from the poet’s elaboration by using normal poetic device. In fact the poet’s interpretation should be hinted at, rather than given (show not tell). This allows the reader to perceive the haiku in their own way and enjoy the revelation as if they discovered it.
Alan
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Great so describeing for short poem.
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Ah..what a shot and strong verse you brought...well done my friend....thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece...
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