She always knew she wanted to be different;
different from their shallowness,
their lack of curiosity,
and blatant abusiveness.
The smoldering discontentment
blazed into an open rebellion.
Her bedroom became a sanctuary
from the messiness of this simple life.
Books became her hunger,
as she gulped each word and page.
Digesting the knowledge of new and better lives,
attitudes and ways,
a new hope sparked inside her soul.
She focused on the positives
outside those four small walls.
Teachers, mentors and counselors,
their words of wisdom and noble actions
absorbed with the fury of a parched sponge.
If patience was her friend,
she knew the cycle of abuse and pettiness
would one day end with her.
Her children would know the love and peace
she only felt in books.
Her fairy tale would be their happy ever after.
Now, when she sees reflected back at her
the innocence in her children’s eyes,
she truly feels the peace inside,
and she understands completely.
Author notes
paw-writer
A contest entry
- INNER WISDOM - (Where do your steps take you?) by Silent Cougar.
875 points, ended August 9, 10 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's? (VI) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 17, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your soul by poeticcaresses.
600 points, ended September 22, 19 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autobiographical by Dead Hair.
675 points, ends October 10, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Fav Me by Uasal Laoch Aingeal.
2625 points, ended September 30, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Pure Emotion! by xSarahx.
600 points, ended September 30, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Her children would know the love and peace
she only felt in books.
Her fairy tale would be their happy ever after.
that is my favorite part, but you did a wonderful job on the whole write. Thanks!
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I like this. Great use of metaphors.
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this is beautiful, although it seems so strongly personal, it has a universal feel to it & i can definitely relate. i especially love:
"Books became her hunger,
as she gulped each word and page.
Digesting the knowledge of new and better lives,
attitudes and ways,
a new hope sparked inside her soul."
seriously breathtaking, the ending is great, like a contented sigh.
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Thanks so much for such a wonderful and thoughtful comment! Blessings, Patty
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Beautiful!
You definitely have the ok for my contest.
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Beautiful! Wonderfully written. This really shows the cycle of abuse and the end to it. Very full of feeling. Great poem. Good luck! Thanks for entering.
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Excellent! Nice job, good luck in my contest! The poem is really excellent, made me actually feel how you wanted me to feel. The title could be better at capturing my attention, and the beginning seems a bit off, the ending is excellent though. Just brilliant. The first lines are capturing, but for the wrong reasons it seems when i reread the ending, it seems to take a different turn from the beginning mess. I suggest revising it.
<3
-Cena -
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Maybe I can clarify this some. The poem begins with the feelings I had growing up in a very abusive home. It then goes into hope that springs from "angels" who entered my life at various crucial times, to show me there are better ways. In the end it shows that with that help and lots of work, I did not pass that chaos and abuse onto my own children. I saw that success, if you will, reflected back at me in my children's eyes, and knew I had stopped the cycle of abuse. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. I hope it helps. Thanks much and blessings, Patty
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Enjoyed reading this, happy to see you've won gold for it.
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Very well written....thank you for entering and best of luck...
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Inspiring! truly beautiful!
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=] Sounds perfect to me ^_^
So inspiring ♥
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Thanks so much! Patty
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Magnificent piece
You penned your emotions well -
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Thanks so much! Patty
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Congrats on winning the golden. This piece clearly deserved it.
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Thanks much! Patty
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Ok, wow! I love how it seems simply enchanted to read and the serenity felt by the persona was wonderful for the reader to understand the persona's perception crystal clear!
There's not much to say in here; I just love the theme since it was written well from the first line to the last line
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Thanks so much for your wonderful and kind comment. It is greatly appreciated. Blessings, Patty
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Again, I come across a write that has been penned by such a self understanding mind. To achieve such awareness from following others who have went before them, and utilised it to better oneself is a great acheivement. I have to say, that this one on it's own has just stepped the competition up a gear. Well done, and thank you for entering.
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Wow how moving!
Wow how moving! This sounds like me as a child, struggling to deal with the natives of a shallow petty world and many who couldn't be bothered to want to study or advance, but merely to dwell in the 3rd dimension when I was well ready for the 5th dimesion by the time that I was 10! Your words are so true here, and you are clearly ready for the 5th dimension yourself to be able to pen this. Seems you have discovered the secret to life and survival after it.
Very well written and from your heart and soul in sucb brilliant poetic graphics, painted and sculpted exquisitely to total perfection and well worthy of being in print, this is for sure something that needs to be in print and distributed widely, it contains too important a message not to be. I know a publisher who would jump at publishing your work, unless of course you already have one!?
Bravo, love it, well done well said and highly commendable. You are v ery talented and very special and they say that we entertain angels without ever knowing it, in you we do exactly that.
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
PS:Thanks millions and millions for kindly awarding me a gold for my poem in your wonderful contest which I enjoyed immensely, I am so chuffed and honoured, and it means a huge lot to me as a newbie on the site.
Poetic Hugs & Thanks Millions!
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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Wow! Thanks so much for such a touching and thoughtful comment. You are so encouraging and I appreciate that so much! You have a beautiful and giving soul, I can tell and sense this. You are most welcome for the gold as you highly deserved it. No, I do not have a publisher but would love it if you can message me and refer me to one! That would be so exciting! I am going to add you as a favorite and I welcome you to the site. you are doing so well already! *hugs* Blessings, Patty
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This is amazing! Ending the cycle of abuse. I identified so much with you words; and so beautifully expressed. Thank you for sharing with us!
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excellent
A very inspiring piece! you can sure write lady!
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Really nice
Even though the core story related to something i think a lot of people have lived through, i found your write very awe inspiring and beautifully put. I have know people who have gone through this, young and old, and believe me, i see in your words the very things they often spoke to me. This was a very real experience and brought back a lot of sadness i have seen in the past. Thank you for opening that door and not letting me forget that there are some very lonely and sad people out there. A top piece of work worthy of more than just an applaud. I hope to be reading more as i will be putting you on my favourites for reference. Well done.
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Thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment. Patty
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Amazing write and I can so relate being a survivor of child abuse and spousal abuse. I too have found my fairy tale ending in my husband my soul mate and our daughter Jasmine. They are what help me go on each new day. Thanks for sharing this amazing write with us all. Theresa
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Thank you Theresa for such a kind and thoughtful comment. It means a lot to me. Blessings, Patty
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Powerful poem of hope! I relate to much of it. I like how the person in the poem focuses on the positive things in her life...rises above the abuse...finds those escapes and turns them to good.
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Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. You are so kind. Blessings, Patty
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I can relate to this completely. Life is not a dream for many of us when we are young. Fortunately, your babies had a mom who knew better and who protected them. A lovely write. ~ Joyce
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This is really good. I can only see of one thing that could be corrected.
"Her bedroom became her sanctuary"
It might sound better saying "Her bedroom became a sanctuary" instead of using two her's. That's just me though. Not a big thing
Overall this sends out a positive message that really makes one think.
I wish you the very best of luck in this contest.
Kari
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment, and for the suggestion. I liked that, and did change it. Sometimes it's nice to get an outside opinion on ones' writing because others may see what you cannot. Thanks again, I appreciate it. Blessings, Patty
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Wow this is such a powerful write my friend. You took your inner most emotions and put them down on paper to let the world see. I am amazed by your talent and your strength to endure what you have. Many blessings sent your way.
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I love love LOVE this! I feel like the strength of the message itself is matched by the strength of the way you word all of it. You have such talent for effectively presenting your ideas with excellent images and phrases. I can't even pick a set of lines I like most; everything here is so perfect. This really is a beautiful poem. Good luck in your contest!
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Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comments and for adding me as a favorite. I added you as well. I look forward to reading more of your wonderful writing. Blessings, Patty
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This, my fried, is why we suffer...so we can overcome and be triumphant. Beautifully worded.
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Excellent write!
A good write!
I hope you win the gold!
Regards,
DeGraw
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This is really good. I can relate to this. I'm glad that you showed me this. Thanks for the comments and the great write!
~Nicky
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I really like this. This is one of the poems that truly make me realize that words dont have to rhyme to be poetry. This obviously came from your heart, and is just great. Alltogether great job!
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This is truly from the heart, and with poems like this I can definetly tell. This poem truly speaks out, that little voice from your past that will always be a reminder that all that was before made you who you are today.
Stay strong, Patty, dear
Evinde
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You haven't stopped getting better or even been slowed by time. Sometimes we grow dull the longer we stay at something and sometimes we grow sharper. You are growing sharper with every swing of your blade. Cutting and biting into the past without bruising it and striking the present with the brush of a painter. Let the critics come, let the critics go, a heart on fire with the spirit of revolution in their soul will not need them anyway. RC
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Thanks Robin..glad to see you back even if only for a little while.
Patty
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Amen sister! You stopped the cycle! Good for you and your inner wisdom! Good write! ***Pam***
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you gave me chills
oh wisdom is yours my friend,
peace created from pain
you are a champion,
equisite write my wise friend
God bless always...
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Your comments are always so encouraging and I appreciate that so much. You are a beautiful spirit. Blessings, Patty
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A great way of expressing that you want to and did break the cycle of abuse. Always wondered why some can't or won't break that cycle. Great inner wisdom. Good luck in the contest.
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Hello (wont say your name as this is in a contest).
Excellent poem, beautifully written, brilliant balance between so many different facets to this piece; inner strength, abuse, breaking free, betterment, etc.
This speaks to me of great inner strength for the writer has broken the cycle. You haven't described the details of the cycle and I think that is the right thing to do in this piece, and what is not said is not belittled by not being mentioned. Also the lack of details is an example of the cycle broken, as you have focused on the positives, yet are aware of those negatives. That speaks to me of balance as well, and in my humble opinion the correct attitude to have.
The strength to look at yourself, and know that it is down to you to end the cycle, is one thing, but ending one thing doesn’t always mean it has been replaced with something of greater value. In this case though it definitely has, for the strength needed to raise yourself above it all, and stay true to the highest ideals within yourself is at times very painful indeed, and ultimately the rewards one struggles to describe. I applaud you, and wish you the best in this contest.
My regards.
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Ace, thank you so much for your very thoughful and insightful comment. You always give the most amazing feedback and I appreaciate that greatly. Blessings, Patty
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AWESOME
Wow! This is fantastic my friend, I was feeling down in the dumps again, the raptors of depression trying their best to drag me down, so I logged in and for some strange reason was drawn to your write, now this was freaky in the way that it happened, but as I was reading your words, I felt my spirit being up lifted and I felt like all wasn't that bad after all.Your penned wisdom worked wonders with my soul and I thank you for sharing such wisdom and strength with us.I wish you all the best in the contest dear sweet friend.
Blessings to you.
~Angel~
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Your comments are always so uplifting and they brighten my days. I believe we are all energy and connected, so it does not surprise me that you felt that strength come through to you. I know the depression well, but also know that if you ebb and flow with it, rewards can come out of it. I believe it visits us for good reason, even though at the time we can not always see that. Thanks for your kind words. Blessings, Patty
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A shining, heart touching write. I think alot of us can relate to this. Very beautifully written. Best of luck in the contest.
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