In a lifetime of loneliness,
our moments
are regrettably instant.
When I was young(er)
I could not float
as I float now,
twisting swiftly.
I ache in the realization
of reality;
the barest tickle
in my throat
is a shock wave
crushing me.
I can't stand
to imagine
the pressing eternity
that we're lacking.
Author notes
This is urgent
A contest entry
- Have you ever... by GreenHrtPaleMoon.
1300 points, ended July 31, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This was pretty good. I enjoyed your alliteration and many of the words you used. 'twisting' 'pressed eternity'. Good stuff. Best of luck!
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Thank you very much.
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Great job my favorite part was when you said "When I was young(er)
I could not float
as I float now,
twisting swiftly.
I ache in the realization
of reality;
the barest tickle
in my throat
is a shock wave
crushing me." good job -
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Thanks!
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A great journey is portrayed with its deeper sense of understanding the life....well done my friend....thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece...
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Thank you!
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