Beasts of the hollow,
I'll surely follow,
I watch these vicious creatures swallow.
Every hope I had to live,
For I have nothing left to give.
These must be the fallen angels of cupid,
Taunting me and reminding me I'm stupid.
Watching me drown in my very own chaos my mission of slowburn is set,
I was a man of serenity but to the gods I was a threat.
How can I explain,
my sadness and my pain?
In sadness I begin to wallow,
Laughed at by the beasts of the hollow.
A path of death I choose to follow,
Until the black hole comes to swallow.
Hiding in the shadows of my insecurity,
Telling friends and family that I'm in purity.
And then I disappear in to a path of obscurity.
If that's a lie they choose to believe,
and they watch me as I turn to leave...
Another star on my belt is received,
Then I succeed and another's deceived,
This life of false earnings is not as I perceived.
The beasts of the hollow were my greatest friends,
I walk them to the very ends.
And turn my back on whatever depends,
my darkness and pain this beast he defends.
I sit here and I try to swallow,
Realized I tried to follow.
Sitting here and now I wallow,
In the shadows of the beasts of the hollow.
A contest entry
- For my Favs Or Those Who have me as a Fav by OrangeMarmalade.
1200 points, ended August 5, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Share with me your interpretations?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Increadible poem!
Very dark; not so mysterious as it seems. But disconcerting, certainly. From such a wonderful person, such a dark write - your talent knows no limits!
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This Is very powerful I love the way it describes how you slowly give in I love it it's amazing my favorite lines would have to be
"These must be the fallen angels of cupid,
Taunting me and reminding me I'm stupid."
I can relate I know this feeling believe me keep writing you have pure talent you are one of my favorite poets on here keep it up!
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I get a dark, foreboding feeling as I read this. Seems almost as though the soul is in torment...not knowing where it belongs...in goodness, light, and truth or following after these "beast of the hollow". Interesting poem.
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dude, seirously i love this one too, i know i read them backwards but thats beside the point. These must be the fallen angels of cupid,
Taunting me and reminding me I'm stupid.
haha i really liked these lines. simply and absolutely amazing my friend, so much emotion and feeling so true, very very good job. i am excited to read anymore you write like these
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sounds like some deep thought when on, love the ryming and the beat. very interesting Brandon, and this is one of ur best. very dark too, i love dark poetry! YAY!
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I don't think rhyming three lines in a row is awkward. It isn't like traditional poetry, but it doesn't affect the flow. This one is really good as well.
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I love the first stanza, but I don't like how your rhymed the 1st three lines in a row. It would read much better if the 2nd line didn't rhyme, and it was just 1st and 3rd, with the 4th and 5th following in their own rhyme IMO. 4th and 5th are excellent lines by the way.
I'm not too fond of the 2nd stanza, but I love the third stanza! wow, it's fantastic. excellent abstractness, imagery, and flow.
4th stanza is great as well. You've really leap-frogged in your ability to flow from what I've read before. This flows and rhymes great as well, bravo.
5th stanza is pretty good, but the second line really throws it off. Again you're trying to rhyme three lines in a row which to me is awkward. The second line's rhyme doesn't really make sense to me. But besides that I can really relate to this stanza myself.
The last two stanzas, again too much rhyming in my opinion. It seems forced, but I like the idea's behind it.
"In the shadows of the beasts of the hollow.", this brings about great imagery. I can imagine in my mind's thicket of neurons I create a beast or limit that I convince myself that I can not over come, and I trap myself in its shadow.
Overall, a great poem. This surprised and impressed me. You've improved from before!
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Dude, this has such a dark, yet captivating story in these lines...It had a rhythm to it, much like an Edgar Allen Poe poem...you did very well writing this one, my friend...
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