people always let you down, so why dont you forget about them and do something for yourself

when she was little..
she would sit on his knee and he would tell her how beautiful she was. He would tell her that some day, when she was older she'd have all the boys chasing her, and he'd have to sit down and have a talk with those boys, them and his gun. That some day, he'd have to put the fear of god into some boy that came beatin' down the door askin' for his daughter. One day, when she was grown up..
well now she's growing up, and things are different..

On a good day, he'll leave her be. They won't talk, and that will be fine by her. She'll cook his dinner, do his laundry, and slink back to her room to sit in silence, thankful he has decided to leave her alone.

On some other days..

He'll scream at her while she does her hair and choose that nights' attire. He'll ask her "what fag she's going to see tonight". And when she gets back, depending on the look on her face, if it's a smile, she's done for. He'll tell her how ammoral she is. How "god" is not going to take her. Grab her. Hold her high above the ground by her done up hair. Screaming at her "you're an embarrassment to this family" and "I'll put you in the ground right next to that Lawrence King, that fucking gay kid you honor so much". She will not speak. She will not cry, for she has learned this is a sign of weakness in his eyes. He will let her go, and as she runs off to her room, he'll find something to throw at her as he yells various words all somewhere along the lines of "faggot".

He tells her not to be gay but with all she has received from men, what's to love? Is it so wrong she longs for a soft touch and kind words? And that when it does not work out, it still hurts, but nothing she will not get over, nothing she will not learn from.. nothing that will leave her in bruises.

She wonders how he could do this to her. Swears that one day, she'll be free, and is counting down to that day. And for all he has put her through, she wonders, but cannot help that a small part of her will always love him. And even though he has yet to tell her, she knows that he loves her too.

Young child rest your head tonight. Wipe the blood from your hands, put down that knife, and cover up your scars. You have little faith left, but you still greet every day with a smiles, and you know; it will all be okay.