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Up and Down

Up
Until now
Down the road
Smooth
But-a-dip-a-skid-a-rock
Up
And over
Cliffs of Dover
Down and under
Water
Lots-of-living-fishes-swimming
with gills
She doesn't look as at home
Under a rock
But, up
He floats
Down, and out
Cold
...
Up
With a jolt
And with the meds
Down the bed
Got no legs

Can't go swimming

Please comment on anything, I'd love to hear it! Good or bad.

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Comments


  • AnonymousXO
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    With the "up and down" idea, if you rearrange some of the lines it could be a shape poem. Just a thought.
    Some lines seem deeper than others and it is a little hard to understand at first. But other than that good job =]

  • mycatsasha
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ha ha!

    I don't quite get it, but I really liked it! I like the lines "Got no legs//Can't go swimming." This poem seemed really random.
    This is one of those poems that is more fun to read out loud.