Blog THIS.

                                  Thursday, July 03, 2008
                                  With or without you. 

        What are you trying to prove? Why are you -dying- for this? It's not worth it, not like they give a shit. I don't see why you need their approval, they're airheads. Completely off the record and they're not even with the program. Not to mention they don't give a damn about you; all they want to do is binge-eat and drink and party every other night. And they've got you doing it too. Flashing people, constant Facebook bumper sticker quotes, the odd reference of Helen Keller forced in to a conversation thanks to Facebook. It's stupid, and then you continue to tell me about all the fun you had. Or... so-called "fun". Personally, I'm more annoyed than hurt at the fact I was uninvited. The last thing I have on my mind is going to someone's house to drink and act like an asshole because that's the "life". It's funny, you say you're done with certain people, yet they've become your taxi. You hang out with them all the time and then five seconds later you're bitching about how you're done with him and tired of being hurt and this and that. It's a crock of shit and that's why I called him a faggot. He hurt you so bad and you said you couldn't take anymore of it; that you were done, but you go running back to him and try for the impossible friendship that's not even worth it. Why do you need his approval? I don't get it.
    Can't you just... be? Just relax, don't move, sit there and just breathe. Nothing has to happen every five seconds, the world will keep moving. Just... be. Exist, know that you exist, and bask in the fact that you are here, and they are there. It's not a competition for the gold-medal of popularity. So why is there a constant need for the center of attention? You're acting like the puppet, and they're pulling the strings. You're wondering why you might have to pay for school on your own? This is why: you're out everynight, partying it up, living this fairytale-happy-ending movie life, where you fall for the "best friend" and all this crap happens. You're out every night, not giving that much of a shit about school, and then you're always "so tired" or you have to over-emphasize that you've "had a good time" by taking a million pictures and posting them wherever anyone will see. I'm sorry, I've been there for you and I'm just really annoyed right now.
        I know this is probably hurting you, but I need to vent. It's just annoying me, and I think you need to know that when you say everyone else has changed... you're right in that boat with them. We all are. I've changed too. I've stopped giving a shit about certain shady people, I've cut ties with many people that were my close friends that just wanted to use me for a ride, or for a computer, or for my money. I've dumped their asses and moved on.
        Do you think it matters to me if I have friends or not? It sure DOES. I wish I had a million friends that I could just drop everything and run to, but it's not how it works. I wish I could go out every night and hang out or party. I wish I could brag about the awesome time I had at this place with Bob-Joe-Paul, but I can't. It's time to settle down and get a degree, grow up and plan for the future... unless I'm the only one with different priorities.
          I wish I had a ton of friends, and money to blow all the time, and people to text all night long, and the ability to hold a facebook conversation all day.  Wow, I really sound like a bitch and you probably hate me, but this has been aching in the pit of my stomach since around October. Today just really blew me away. You were in such a rush to go be with them.
          You know last week when you said that you don't fit in with the "old group" anymore? It's because you're changing yourself SO MUCH to get the approval of these new people that you've totally dumped your old friends. When you're with me, all you do is text your new friends... and then tell me what you are talking about.  Do you know how badly I want to grab that fucking phone and throw it?  It's not fair. I feel like nothing next to them, but it's okay for you because they're giving you attention. Anytime we hang out, it's  "___ this" and "___ that." Or "Everyone in my program...." I get it, you're there in the "in" crowd and you've all got your little querks; you're edgy and in the zone. You have  a name. How long do you honestly think that shit is going to last? Once college is done, do you think you will keep track of all the friends you have met there? That huge list of yours that you have... you're going to contact each and every one of them? I don't think so. So why shut out your real friends just to be popular with some shady ones?
          This really sounds like I'm jealous eh? Go ahead and be mad, I'm just really seeing a side of you that I'm not liking too much.
But whatever man, I guess that's the road you're -dying- to go down just to be popular.
---


                          Saturday, July 05, 2008
              I don't want to talk right now. So don't bother. 


You want a blog written about you? Here's one.

Dearest Tiffany,

          I find it funny that you call me to confront me based on something MARCO said. Once again, he's got you wrapped around his finger. I wasn't mad before, but now I am. Now I can't sleep, and now I'm pissed off. He's a shit talker and apparently if you're going on and holding a conversation about me with him, then you are too. It didn't work the first three times with him, why are you even bothering? I'm not debating anything with you, I don't want to talk. Everything I've said is entirely true. So just read it, I'm entitled to my own opinion and I'm writing about MY FEELINGS. Go have fun at the party, I'm going to bed.
P.S. $20 bucks a week, times that by 52 weeks is first semester's tuition.