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You Paint Me Blue

fields to roam give plenty of thoughts
fallacies persist, making dew glisten in rainbows
believing I can't bloom without your sunlight kisses
but then I withered from poisoned nectars caress
drank blackness from the chalices of tears
when the last sound sung from your lips

somber twilight touched my brow
gentle breeze made her sullen whispers
as it passed across my eyes, spilling lonesome illusions
nocturnal incantations kissing my tired thoughts
hum of my soul smeared in scarlet tone
you paint me blue, slowly tasting tint of death

your dandelion scents unfolded pregnant fairy tales
making me bleed, entrapping into carnal sentiments
crucifying aura of daydreams
where silence became piercing echo

timid sighs haunt me, regretting the day
where I whisper breath of bitterness
through skeleton of dying wind
my tears now becomes silent anthem of the night
and I shall never be the shining one perhaps
but a mere driftwood floating in voidless shore
inhaling gentle voices of fallen stars

Author notes

Blue color


feeling blue or getting the blues represents the extremes of the calm feelings associated with blue, i.e. sadness or depression, lack of strong (violent) emotion.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • xeroabyss II
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    Nothing is so hypocritical and contradicting than hurting immensely because you are in love.
    Sometimes the numbness of the sunless winter of solitudes embrace seems more comforting than feeling anything at all.


  • Samantha Marie
    April 5
    Edit | Reply
    You didn't read my rules and put the quote in your Author's notes, DQ


  • SchizoChic
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This would have read better if you had done a little punctuation and capitalized the first letters. But it's a great poem nonetheless. Best of luck to you.


  • Nienna Calmcacil
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    WOW.

    That was stunningly written. So much emotion and imagery...

    Thank you for entering...wow...


  • nevadapoet
    September 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful write, a great entry for this contest. A perfectly penned write with great flow and good imagery. Thank you for the entry. Keep the pen flowing...the pleasure was all mine.
    Nevadapoet


  • Fallen-Phases
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful poem, i really liked the amazing imagery and the elegance assosiated.
    simply wonderful
    -mlg


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful. Brilliant metaphors and gorgeous imagery portrayed. I loved this from beginning to end. Amazing write!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck

  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful. Brilliant metaphors and gorgeous imagery portrayed. I loved this from beginning to end. Amazing write!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • transit
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow!

    I love this poem for the beautiful language and how powerful a piece it was. Sadness, nature and other themes were involved which made this a unique but enjoyable piece.

    "where I whispers breath of bitterness"

    "whispers" should be changed to "whisper"


    "believing I can't bloom without your sunlight kisses"

    beautiful line!! Congrats on the trophys and good luck in this contest!

    loveees,
    transit~


  • checkmate
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a great piece here. the flow is good, and the imagery is wonderful. only thing is; there are some places where the flow is broken and grammaertical mistakes. butI love your words- they are amazing. and the style is fresh.

    && good lucks to you from all of us!! thank you for entering
    -checkmate♥


  • Brit-Girl
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh I loved the imagery in this! You did a wonderful job with the descriptions and vocabulary,

    my fav lines:
    "your dandelion scents unfolded pregnant fairy tales
    making me bleed, entrapping into carnal sentiments"

    thank you for your entry~


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, though I think you need to separate this into stanzas, so that it reads like a poem and not one, long run-on sentence. That's my only real complaint, and I almost-certainly predict a shiny trophy in your near future.

    Thanks for entering!

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Line one - toughts = thoughts

    I would remove thus from line two, seems out of place.

    sunlight kisses is cute.

    Stanza two, line two, maybe remove 'your' and line three make 'drunk' drank.

    A good piece, there are places that the wording could be reworked to make it a bit smoother but otherwise it is good.

    I would have liked to see a bit more wow at the ending though


  • jossiemarie
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thats beautiful as ever i love your work, best of luck you are in the finals.


  • sailor ptolema
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my! what beautiful language you use!. A nice take on both the picture and the prompt. The bitterness after being betrayed...always leaves a nasty taste in the mouth.
    I loved:"where silence became piercing echo
    timid sighs haunt me">>>>>>this was a great way to end the poem, "I like that it's something 'timid' that has a lasting hold on her... a very nice polarization between the powerful connotations of bitter.
    Thank you for entering my contest and g'luck!

    S.P.~

1 - 15 of 15