She seemed warm,
young
her job was braiding tongues,
which slipped and slithered
against the rough, hot
steam.
We asked to be shown how it was done,
but her own tongue was clipped,
sharp, and cold;
the tongue of a bitter woman
who did not understand curiosity
or intrigue.
She simply plaited each slab of
pink, slimy flesh
over
and over
and over
until
they were firm against each other
We were curious,
and there were questions:
"Why lady, why are you doing this?"
"Each tongue sings it's own song,
and when it's done, the song is sung
there is no more cause for beauty,
for graceful tongues to join as one
in a full blown orchestral symphony
ringing with colour, fire and life
and so, I braid them together,
lay them to rest;
and they shall dance in peace."
Author notes
I don't know...
A contest entry
- Graceful Tongues by rendezvous.
1500 points, ended July 19, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This beginning here really prepares the reader for something strange and alluring; the first stanza seems sexy, though misguiding, for the entrance of this sorrow-eyed, elderly-young witch who cannot bear to practice what she preaches.
As for the final stanza, I just cannot see the appropriateness of her statement. It seems too impassioned for the coldness you've painted in her.
Particularly enjoyed this subtlety: "she -seemed- warm and young:" a unique preface to her derelict and scarred character who seems to have seen too many winters.
Thanks for this entry.
jen
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Yeah, I just couldn't help myself with the last stanza - it's just more my ground! I might try and redo it, but no promises! Cheers for an insightful comment. Barbie. Xx
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I'm a little tongue-tied. It's great to see/read a Barbie offering. I hope she is well. (Thank you)
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She is well, thank you. She hopes you are too.
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All is well down here. I'm hoping the studies are growing nearer to a paying concern.
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2:1 this year - hoping to pull it back up to a first next year.
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