I don't know what they were thinking,
but it seems society is sinking.
I read how they killed the kid,
can't believe they did,
I don't know what they were thinking.
I don't see what they are doing,
Teachers and children are screwing.
Where is the trust,
when they just follow their lust,
I don't see what they are doing.
I don't believe the day's headlines,
or that we are living by designs.
God cannot be happy,
what they're doing is crappy,
I don't believe the day's headlines.
I don't like where we are going,
they act like they are all knowing.
I for one am ashamed,
all of society is blamed,
I don't like where they are going.
I don't know why it's so bad,
I feel it is so sad.
We hurt one another,
son kills his mother,
I don't know why it's so bad.
I wonder where is the compassion,
leaders are shot by assassins.
What are they doin,
Ashamed to be human,
I wonder where is the compassion.
Author notes
What are we doing? Why do they have to hurt others? Why, Why, Why?
A contest entry
- Ashamed to be Human by She Has My Heart.
450 points, ended August 31, 43 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I liked it. I liked the form and for once I didn't find the repetition annoying, so congrats. However some of it is VERY childish and I think you should change it because it just brings down the poem...when you're taking the moral high ground I think it would sound a lot better as a methodical and...enthusiastic argument. Let me get to the point: "crappy" "screwing" etc don't belong in a poem such as this. You have written it well in other places and I also like your "off" rhymes: assassins/compassion, doin/human (though change doin to doing). Then again when you throw in a bad/sad rhyme...hmm...it's just a bit...rubbish really. You can do better I am sure because your talent shines through here. I think it just needs a little refinement that's all.
A refreshing write, thank you for entering.
-
AMEN !
Indeed, this world is fast slipping into a pit of fire and, like you, I don't like where it is going. Sadly, all of it is fulfilling the prophecy of these end days. On the other hand, the upside to all this pain and chaos is that it is signaling our Lord's return to get us out of this mess.
Well done, my precious brother! Oh, there are a few little tweaks you could make, like "its" should be "it's" and so forth.
Much love and hugs, SisBon


-
Wow
So true. Seems alot of us have lost what it is to be good and kind to eachother. A smile can turn things around and all we see is stress on faces these days. Your words carry alot to think about. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Much love,
Tali





