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I.D.O.L. (Dirty Pretty)

I see you
How you try to
CompressYourSizeIntoALittlePiece
Trying to get yourself loved by
Everyone        Everyone        Everyone        Everyone
        Everyone        Everyone        Everyone
Everyone        Everyone        Everyone        Everyone

It wasn't easy to see herself
W/i/t/h/e/r/i/n/g into pieces
As her mood SwInGs AnD rOlLs, CoNfUsEd AnD dIsToRtEd
Around the same specter of | tcelfer ekaf A

How beautiful she looked until she
F
E
L
L, but the p.a.u.s.e.s. also have to finish

She threw her loyal ♥s                                            away
For a piece of encouraging support
To her MANIAC WAYS OF DISPLAYING HERSELF

Br o ken int o ir regul ar pie ces
And fixing them with temporary glue

She put her[self being] into danger
Just for ♥ and more ♥♥♥♥♥
And I'm tired of doing the same that I did from several [SEVERAL] months ago
The crowded idol loves the foreign smiles
And she forgot
I wonder if it, someday, like this poem, is going to


End.

Author notes

My first attempt of Dirty Pretty.
By Kyo-N.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow!
    If I do say so, this is an amazing first attempt at dirty pretty.
    I enjoyed the story that was being told and it all was very entertaining and didn't bore me.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.


  • AshesFromFire
    August 10
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! nice!
    Thank you for entering my contest and attempting to educate me!
    This one is defitily helpign me get it!


  • KelsiEvermore
    April 3
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Good job!


  • yukitosumi
    March 23
    Edit | Reply
    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THATS dirtypretty.


  • Nickelspring gold member
    March 22

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know much about dirty pretty, but I love this piece- fun to read, like a puzzle almost.
    I love what you have conveyed too.
    Best wishes,
    KW~


  • XcPrincessB
    March 22

    Edit | Reply

    First attempt?

    Damn! you gotta be a natural! THis is what I am looking for... DIRTY/pretty that actually MAKES sense. Every thing extra you did complimented the text so FREAKIN well. The only thing that confused me what "a fake reflect" but once I got it I actually clapped!
    Congratulation on a piece that actually uses the style WELL (as much of an understanding as I have of it).
    Now onto the poem itself.... WOW. What an amazing write. Perhaps you have seen into my the spells of darkness I have - you captured this kind of female AMAZINGLY. Either it is you from the inside looking out or you are very insightful. Gonna be damned hard to find something to beat this!
    Thank you so much for entering


  • Candy Morphine
    January 7
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice dirty pretty, the format was great!


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I see you
    How you try to
    CompressYourSizeIntoALittlePiece
    Trying to get yourself loved by
    Everyone Everyone Everyone Everyone
    Everyone Everyone Everyone
    Everyone Everyone Everyone Everyone

    OMG, Amazing Stanza!

    For a first attempt, there are so many good lines here..

    I absolutely fricking LOVE this!!


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really can relate to this one personally...
    People hurt me so much and put me into this way, where I hurt and break and just want to starve, die or just completely become void of all emotions.


  • glamour guts
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    p.s-please put
    "im throwing up whatever was left of us in your author notes"

    not your fault,i just added it,but please comply =]

  • glamour guts
    July 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    if this is your first attempt,that explains the lack of
    over used dp metaphors like "glitter"
    thats a really good thing,but i would suggest trying to read a bit more and get a feel of how dp is written,you also did the punctuated kind,i wouldent care as much but
    as your first attempt i would have liked to see a bit more of the dp depth other than style.

    thanks


  • Harmonious Jade
    July 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Happens all the time

    Your first attempt is a good attempt my friend. This si a common story that is played out with women ,and sometimes men all the time. Unlike most dirty pretty I think your elements actually add tot he overall experience of the poem instead of detracting from it. The last part of the poem is very apropos as I think the self reflection is inevitable in this sort of scenario...and yes it does end!

1 - 12 of 12