I see you
How you try to
CompressYourSizeIntoALittlePiece
Trying to get yourself loved by
Everyone Everyone Everyone Everyone
Everyone Everyone Everyone
Everyone Everyone Everyone Everyone
It wasn't easy to see herself
W/i/t/h/e/r/i/n/g into pieces
As her mood SwInGs AnD rOlLs, CoNfUsEd AnD dIsToRtEd
Around the same specter of | tcelfer ekaf A
How beautiful she looked until she
F
E
L
L, but the p.a.u.s.e.s. also have to finish
She threw her loyal ♥s away
For a piece of encouraging support
To her MANIAC WAYS OF DISPLAYING HERSELF
Br o ken int o ir regul ar pie ces
And fixing them with temporary glue
She put her[self being] into danger
Just for ♥ and more ♥♥♥♥♥
And I'm tired of doing the same that I did from several [SEVERAL] months ago
The crowded idol loves the foreign smiles
And she forgot
I wonder if it, someday, like this poem, is going to
End.
Author notes
My first attempt of Dirty Pretty.
A contest entry
- DirtyPretty - Prewrites or Fresh by Midnight-x-Rose.
450 points, ended July 30, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I really can relate to this one personally...
People hurt me so much and put me into this way, where I hurt and break and just want to starve, die or just completely become void of all emotions.
-
p.s-please put
"im throwing up whatever was left of us in your author notes"
not your fault,i just added it,but please comply =] -
if this is your first attempt,that explains the lack of
over used dp metaphors like "glitter"
thats a really good thing,but i would suggest trying to read a bit more and get a feel of how dp is written,you also did the punctuated kind,i wouldent care as much but
as your first attempt i would have liked to see a bit more of the dp depth other than style.
thanks -
Happens all the time
Your first attempt is a good attempt my friend. This si a common story that is played out with women ,and sometimes men all the time. Unlike most dirty pretty I think your elements actually add tot he overall experience of the poem instead of detracting from it. The last part of the poem is very apropos as I think the self reflection is inevitable in this sort of scenario...and yes it does end!
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