As it always seems, my battered head is still see-through
But your knees are very capable, like your elbows
Of keeping me adhered
My heart should know better, it can’t go anywhere with you
But that’s another story of a tiny saccharine hush-hush
That never is enough for me
I can’t perfect my loneliness if you come and invade
Like a wish upon an aging cake I’ve given my breath for
You will always be my pretentious flame
I must admit you make me bloom as a peacock with rainbow feathers
And like a song I haven’t heard in such a very long while
You start to play as if nothing was ever wrong
My bare bones are on parade with ache, like petals from a rose
It's what I would give up that has me so revealed and so frail
No camouflage can hide my suffering
And how the morning needs the sun, I can’t wake without you
You are tomorrow and my yesterday
I just don't know how much more I can't take
When the only thing I'm made of is you.
Author notes
One a soul get attached to another, can it ever let go?
A contest entry
- make me feel something. by aanika.
1003 points, ended July 20, 2008, 25 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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really? it's all fiction?
unbelievable
"I can't perfect my loneliness if you come and invade"
and the last line
sigh
and you say you invented all that?
I'm speechless
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yes it really is a fictional poem, but you never know it might be true for someone. Thank you for your kind words.
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Oh, my...
If I knew you better, maybe I could help...
I am very impressed with the emotion, vocabulary and clarity of the write. You have amazing way with words. One (me) wants to reach out and hug the writer; to point out the fallacies of the fatalism expressed. To find some anchor stones for feet to grow strong in self knowledge. To tease away the longing and need and attraction from the love expressed. To help see the danger signs in a personality, familiar, yet toxic.
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The whole point of the poem was to make you feel something. I guess I succeeded and I can assure you that this is only fiction. Though your kind words would certainly be enough.
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i love the ending of this poem, especially.
"And how the morning needs the sun, I can’t wake without you
You are tomorrow and my yesterday
I just don't know how much more I can't take
When the only thing I'm made of is you."
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thank you so much.
i love this,
plain & simple.
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