His black eyes
peer to the blinding sun,
and with just a thought,
ravens freeze in flight,
like taxidermied ornaments,
waiting to be removed
from their very existence.
Timed with the quarter moon,
the season of the witch
is gathering her raging lust,
for the well hung
wandering warlocks.
People look at him
and turn away,
or turn to stone.
He has never stood so tall,
as when he bent
to help the child,
who cut him down,
and ripped out his heart
to give to you.
Staggering with devils
down the fire lane,
he sees Gabriel,
who snaps off their horns,
to blow the sound of a song,
he stole from them
so many life times ago.
Frightened animals
sense his presence.
Shades are drawn,
as his footsteps walk
towards the unholy shrine.
Where black cats urinate
on the bleeding victims
they walked in front of.
Broken mirrors lie against
the upright leaning ladder,
where as a child,
he took his first steps,
beneath it's rungs.
Author notes
Possession is
nine tenths
of the law,
when it is
you that
is possessed
or superstitious.
A contest entry
- Misfits Enter Here ~ If You Dare by nichtmich.
1750 points, ended December 19, 2008, 30 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SCARE MY PANTS OFF! by Jade.Butterfly.
1800 points, ended July 10, 32 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me believe by nehematala.
490 points, ended August 24, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Halloween Party Contest In Honour Of SamanthaSam by Raining Kisses.
9800 points, ended October 20, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 88 of 88
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Deep, dark and dangerous. Lowell Poe on top form here i think.
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oooh this is scaaaary and very clever nice write
T -
i remeber this from scare your pants off comp it was way powerful hence it stayed in my mind so cool addition to this comp brilliant indeed
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Magnificent write!!!!!
Staggering with devils
down the fire lane,
he sees Gabriel,
who snaps off their horns,
to blow the sound of a song,
he stole from them
so many life times ago."
This was amazing!!! Absolutely loved it!!!!
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wonderful poem Thanks for entering
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The Walking Man
This chilly verse would fit so well for a book I read once. Omnipotence flows from your description and you use very visual phrases to support the main character. The title suits the content and I'm left wanting to know more. (hey you can write a follow up on dude) Very nice write!
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omg wow i loved it you gave me chills LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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chills are runnin' down my arms with this one.
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Amazing, this caught me right at the beginning..
His black eyes
peer to the blinding sun,
and with just a thought,
ravens freeze in flight
awesome way to begin a poem, and this one was mind-blowing all the way through, i am proud to see that we have such true masters of emotion and imagery on this site....i apprecita this work...keep it up
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Impressed
This is well woven and I love how you tie in superstitious elements throughout the poem. They are so subtle I almost didn't catch them at first. Great job!! I especially love the line "like taxidermied ornaments." Very unique.
I'm impressed!
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Frightening
Awesome poem soooo chilling I love it so many parts that shrieked me
Good luck in the contest.
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*hides under covers*
And cries like a baby.
This was scary! it gaave me cold chills for sure! -
very scary indeed changed my undies and had to stand in front of the heater to take the chill away well done thanks for entering good luck
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since you already have this broken up into two parts I think I will stick with that. I like to comment as I read so here we go...
Part 1:
wow dark fantasy and medaphoric as well I do believe. I think that this is awe inspiring so far. It flows amazing, and it has a very intriguing tale.
Part 2:
Huh that was unusual ideed. I loved this I am going to add it to the finalist list thanks for entering. -
I do get a bit of a zombie vibe from this one. This is a dark poem, sorrowful in it's own way. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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I am imagining something very dark.. very evil.. but its not evil.. its only perspective somehow..and he came from a broken mirror? Did I get that right?
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your words are weapons
this is great
visually and vocab is great
my favorite line
"Staggering with devils
down the fire lane,
he sees Gabriel,
who snaps off their horns,
to blow the sound of a song,
he stole from them
so many life times ago."
it's just the calmness this poem is written in
which gives me the chills
start write comics or a dark book I'll buy a thousand copy's
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Very good write.
Reminds me of old school vampire stories.
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I can see how you this write goes with the picture and while it is a strong write it isn't exactly what I am looking for. I did enjoy it very much Thank you for entering my contest and sharing.
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A visit to the dark side of an ominous world, where few would dare tread here....You have penned work here deserving of a gold trophy....You have done well! Your vocabulary, and imagery are excellent!
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I love this.
The drifting dramatic sweep of words, each and every word counts. This is staggering, and this is art. Beautiful, free verse that flows so effortlessly
poetry that speaks to the endless corridor of time.
Peace my brother, this is fine work.
You are a poet, first and always.
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OOOhhhh very dark, i likes a lot, especially (where black cats urinate on the bleeding victims) great imagery, and congrats on the contest. xx
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what an intruiging read, it was dark almost sadistic a story with tales and underlying tones not yet told, the use of words and the imagery were very good descriptive though not to much, the essence of it there though it gave me the feeling of it not all being quite told
" waiting to be removed
from their very existance"
this first stanza spelt out for me the self loathin this man had for himself
"timed with the quater moon"
very clever word play in the second stanza bringing into this a dark force of witchery and demons, but then the third and fourth gave me a feeling iof great sorrow and lonliness for this soul that for whatever reason had become this unlookable being
a brilliant dark write
very good read for me
abigail
was
heart on sleeve
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O.K., this is just plain good. The imagery and glimpse into 'his' past don't tell, they show! Thank you for your entry.
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very eerie and i really like the first stanza, the imagery i got was fantastic, this is the kind of poem that gives me the shivers lol,
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amazing word choice in this, good job and good luck
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Very good.It was dark. I liked it very much.
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Wow, this is great. I haven't been much into dark writes lately but this is captivating. The first two lines and a few more lines remind me of a series of books I've read called the Sword of Truth series. Anyway this is another good piece by you. Creepy and malicious.
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I like your poem, Its a little different from what I ususally read but I like it.
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First two lines were my favorite. All of these contest entries and you didn't win a single one?! That hardly seems fair. I believe this one is..stunning. Once again, well penned.
ing alone,
Mylee -
Well done - you spooked me. Thanks for your entry and happy Samhain!
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A very different, creepy write. I loved the inclusion of all the superstitions. As one who has never felt superstitious of anything in life, I find that superstitions and people who are superstitious are very intriguing. Thanks for entering, and best of luck!
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wow.... My favorite was the ending, the beginning of the end rather. Beautiful story, Wonderful write!
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Beautiful ,dark and full of emotions.Thrilling piece...
Keep it up!
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deep
how very deep this write sings out from the bowells of the earth its imagry is so stark and soul freezing, makes me want to run to church right now and pray for the safety of my own soul this is a stunning write godbless theresa
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ok you creeped me ouuuuuuuuuuut =)
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Took reading this a couple of times to get it, if indeed I do. I really like the use of,"taxidermied ornaments", how many of our own possessions fit that bill? To put an existence or perhaps, material form to superstition puts a unique perspective on it. I would ask when exactly is "the season of the witch"? Seems to fall whenever misfortune strikes. I like the way this shows that the simple act of belief in a set pattern of outcome can help that outcome set forth.
Another fine write.
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I always admire your writes. Calm smooth, yet also overflowing with very vivid dark conceptual thought. Calm complexity. I love the use of mythology in this and can't single out my favourite lines, it all works well, indeed. Another natural beauty.
Gemma
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I like this! It's darkly superstitious and the imagery is very effective. Nicely done
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Very nice! i like the dark feel it has to it and great concept. Thanks for entering my contest and GOOD LUCK!!
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Wow...this is freaky! All these superstitions packed into such an effortlessly-flowing piece...so dark, it made my skin crawl. Such vivid and grotesque imagery, it gave me goosebumps.
The author's notes were very appropraite, clearing up your feelings on the subject and giving a new dimension to my understanding of this poem.
I liked the feeling of dread that you built from the beginning to climax at the approach of the accursed one...and then the touch of humanity you gave him at the end by giving us an insight into his beginning.
"with just a thought,
ravens freeze in flight
like taxidermied ornaments."
Wow. My favorite line for sure. -
I think that's brilliant...!
very clever piece of work, and i agree absolutely we make up our own demons as we go along, attatch them to superstitions passed down, and before you know it, you're hooked on your own fabricated bullshit... it comes true for you, it's like "we are what we eat, likewise we are what we think", I got demons, i made em' up for sure, only I don't call them demons, they're poetic metaphor, makes for some good poetry Lol, when you have a gap, take a look at my "Run no more" cheers brother! take it easy with that bus! Lol just kidding!
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I liked the imagery that you've throughout the piece. Awesome vocabulary. Great job!
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Nice imagery. Interesting piece. Best of luck in all the contests, and congrats on the past trophies for this piece!!
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Great entry - thanks and best of luck.
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He has never stood so tall,
as when he bent
to help the child,
who cut him down,
and ripped out his heart
to give to you.
--wow. that made my mouth fall open. lol, it was amazing.
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Usual vivid and effective descriptive detail here and I really liked 'taxidermied ornaments' that's such an original image. Also thought you used the cultural references very appropriately throughout. Very original, hope it does well in all its contests. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.
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Very good work!
I like the piece,
Good luck!!! -
oh interesting indeed. Like the thoughts of myths that you put in here. Good write. Good read. Thanks for sharing.
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it has won bronze and cannot place. this was good too...
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"ravens freeze in flight,
like taxidermied ornaments"
thats awesome!!!!
great write
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I LIKE YOUR STYLE, HOWEVER MY FRIEND THIS CONFUSED ME
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YIKES! Makes me want to write a graveyard poem, which is as dark as I ever get.
Good story here and I like stories in poems very very much. 
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Very dark - appropriate for the contest. I got really into this one, kept me interested all the way through.
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hi their
Nice one , different yeah . -
Just for the fun of it, I am going to comment on this poem again! I love this one! It is really mysterious, with great image and portraying character! G
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Scary write -- intense in its own sense. I am a big fan of Anne Rice books-- This write reminds me so, of her work. The imagery is well done, and I enjoyed the read.
Thanks for entering the 5 option contest -- I do appreciate you sharing your work with me,
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
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Good use of words and imagery.
The theme is not usually my kind but you made it for me this time and the way you composed this was impressive.
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You have a very unique poetic ability, the imagery was fantastic and unusual. Was very fresh. All the best in the contest
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Thanks for your entry good luck in the contest.
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This has ver good imagery, I enjoy the style, It really is dfferent. Goo luck in your contests.
~W.W~ -
This is one step beyond. So different from your usual style, but I more than dig it! It really takes you on a trip. This is what differentiates you from everyone else; your outstanding ability to not only express a message, but to take people from their seats and throw them into a completely different world from what they're used to - in all honesty, I felt quite disorientated after I read this piece. But that's good. That's ultimate power. I mean... you can write a piece of poetry. But can you turn it into real flesh and blood? Evidently, you are one individual who can, and the effects are spellbinding.
I love the references to superstition in this piece. Not only does it have the potential to change the way someone thinks forever, but it begs the question; does the class system, or the political authorities really rule us? Or does superstition govern our lives? In a person who is vulnerable to it, can their life become enveloped by paranoia and fear of the (possibly) unknown?
A fantastic piece with great descriptions.
Jess
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Breathtaking is the only word I can think of. One of the best, most unique writes I have encountered (AP or not). It has left me...amazed
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Wow..that's one of the best i've read ever....good write.
thank you for entering and good luck. -
exciting art.
you know it's funny how poets find each other on this site, and lately i've found myself hanging out in a circle of poets i've been looking for for a long time. a "circle" i wasn't even previously sure was there. it used to be all the same mindless teen angst cliche bullshit that 90% of this site is unfortunately compiled of. but THIS kind of stuff. YES. THIS is where i want to be. You are the kind of poet i want to be friends with on this site. it's just been so great for me lately to bump into all of these people at once. i knew you were all out there. lol. sorry rambling over, back to the poem. this clearly has a breakthrough realisation in every stanza. and it takes me everywhere. it's a real trip. i admit i'm often the kind of person who thinks they know everything, but this left me thinking. YES!
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So much of this is amazing in a terrifying manner. I am interested in all things occult and superstitious and this poem speaks to me on a very base level.
"ravens freeze in flight,
like taxidermied ornaments,
waiting to be removed
from their very existence."
This stanza makes me shudder. Taxidermy has always been a freaky subject for me but "freezing in flight" and "waiting to be removed" lend powerful imagery here.
"the season of the witch
is gathering her raging lust,
for the well hung
wandering warlocks."
Beautiful. I don't know what else to offer here.
But by far and away, the stanza that I am still recovering from is:
"Staggering with devils
down the fire lane,
he sees Gabriel,
who snaps off their horns,
to blow the sound of a song,
he stole from them
so many life times ago."
Ugh. This is painful it's so good. I'm envious that I didn't write it! Such a wonderful work that I am tempted to repeat myself & say that if this is madness, then I aspire to join you for I see only magic. Thank you for drawing special attention to this one. It's perfection in black and white.
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to show ones worth to know ones place...to be made whole are torn apart by the human race...possessed are just superstitious...wow! i do love how your mind works
you rock my bro
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All I can say is that I am sitting in pure amazement and awe of such wonder and creativity of this poem! Beyond great, Master Poet
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for the well hung
wandering warlocks.
-yikes, I shall never try for any bit of those wands.
Where black cats urinate
on the bleeding victims
they walked in front of.
-very creative
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Awesomely Desolate
It's heavily morbid yet optimistic at times (i.e. "He's never stood so tall, as when he bent to help the child). I like the accepted way this burdened man is explained in his curse. It gives me an images of damnation and strength at the same time! Maybe I read it wrong but I still think its great! -
He has never stood so tall,
as when he bent
to help the child,
who cut him down,
and ripped out his heart
to give to you.
This drew me in although I'm not sure what the whole is suppossed to be...I'll come read it again. Great feel to it.
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the idea and imagery are both fabulous. the only things that need fixing are:
'Frightened animals
senses his presence.' i think this would be 'sense' since the subject is plural, but perhaps it was intentional?
'beneath it's rungs.' 'its' is the one used for inanimate posessive, according to generations of english teachers.
brilliant poem!
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the imagery is dark and delicious. Allusions abound in this, to superstition, to themes biblical in proportion, and yet frighteningly personal (at least to me) My unholy shrine is my own rampant arrogance, and the belief in my powers of reason, which are no more logical (or illogical, for that matter) than anyone elses. Bravo.
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Well, I was going to comment that the first stanza was my favourite, my every stanza after that just blew me away even more.
I would love to know where you got the inspiration for this. Most people who try their hand at poems about superstition just make the genre all the more cliche, but you've defined it.
I would have to say what makes this piece are these stanzas:
"Where black cats urinate
on the bleeding victims
they walked in front of.
Broken mirrors lie against
the upright leaning ladder,
where as a child,
he took his first steps,
beneath it's rungs."
BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wow I actually get what this poem is about! Thank you sunday school. XD I love the whole poem, it is very well penned and the word usage is extremely well.
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INTRIGUING
'What oft was thought but never so well expressed' - this is what Pope told about poetising. But here is something so deep and moving - you feel it but find no suitable words or rhetorical device to express it. I feel the pains taken by the author in this piece to express the inexpressible. To some of the readers commenting on this poem it is baffling, it has got to be so.
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truly,
I don't know what to make of it...but I'll send you a link to what I think it's developing into - the poetic form of a story line -
HMMMMMMM
A very descriptive write In the one line, did you actually mean presents, or the other? Not being rude by ANY means, but I don't have a clue what you are even penning about. Maybe I'm not supposed to! I do like, I think, the imagery, it's very Sawlike.
POETDONTKNOWIT
WRITING IT HER OWN WAY -
HAHA I was browsing the shameless, and I've already commented cause you're on my favorites,
but I was drawn in by
"FOR THE WELL HUNG"
lol
you get more of these. -
lol I'm not sure what to make of it all. But it sure was fun to read. With all the parts about ravens and lusty witches looking for well hung wizards, it made me think of halloween and a hot night.
I don't know. This is definitely one of those poems where I'm pretty sure I don't get what you're really trying to say. But either ways I thought it sure was fun to read.
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HOLY HELL!
This was incredible! I agree with you, we certainly do think alike...But further, every single time you come with something new for me to read, I seriously can relate, and I do...There is no favorite stanza, you combine your "So much in so little" syndrome, with an amazing extended metaphor in darkness, but I will disagree with the kind lady who commented first, you have NOT OUTDONE YOURSELF. You are you, and you are SO capable of excellence, as you've shown us yet again.
Breathtaking...
"Staggering with devils
down the fire lane,
he sees Gabriel,
who snaps off their horns,
to blow the sound of a song,
he stole from them
so many life times ago."
Congrats brother, this must have made you very proud after the first read. Keep up the great work Lowell, I'll be waiting for the next one, and now I'll take a page out of your book...
"How will you top this?"
Blessings brother,
Brandon
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Damn, this was a really dark poem. My spine actually shivered a little. Very superb!
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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GOOD ONE LOWELL!
Another intriguing work here Lowell! I liked this work for its descriptive content. You wrote another winner as far as I am concerned! WAY TO GO!
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WoW!
I am forever amazed at all that I read from you "Frightened animals senses his presents" wow! That is a really intruiging line....and well hung warlocks even! Fantastic write again mr. Lowell Poe! I will continue to enjoy your work I am sure. ~gypsy~
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Well Brother,
you paint with variations of blackness throughout. As usual your words leave the reader with many questions as well as thoughts to ponder.
One crafted as only you can my friend.
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Bespeaking such dark power. I like that.
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poe you have out done yourself! I can't quite put my finger on why I loved it so. I think it is the over all tone of the piece.
Beautiful as always,
Creatress
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WOAH BABY!
WOW! This is amazing! Crazy Amazing!! I love that the ravens dont fall.... i cant stop reading it.... What images... This piece has such a pressence, I'm strangely torn between being aroused and afraid. The child who cut out my heart to give to you.... Liam... I think this is amazing! youve outdone yourself...
The only way to go is up!
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