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the cut





fresh carbon visions glint
in the light of anticipated joy

some are caught
in a march of numbers
complacence dulling their sheen

others gain facets
irrepressible




A contest entry

I love constructive criticism

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • unraveled
    July 7, 2008
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    Interesting... this is probably the most thought-provoking piece in the contest so far. I'm not the best at metaphor analysis, but I think I get the main point of the poem. I like the second section with the line "some are caught in a march of numbers". I didn't mind the brevity either, it worked well.

    Thank you for the entry,
    -cassidy