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beware of zealots

as long as mankind
refuses to make up its mind

dark cannot ride
and light cannot come to the rescue –

all will remain
just where we need it to be...








Author notes

All zealots.

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the bronze.


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    "just where we need it to be." .....and where it shall stay, I am afraid. I love this piece of work. In thirty words you have given me something to ponder, and this, dear Poet, is what poetry is all about. Thank you. Love, Lane


  • forethought gold member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    You packed a lot of power and meaning into very few words. There was a lot of feeling that bled from each carefully placed word of yours. It's a very accurate description of mankind and the future that is plainly lain before us. The only thing I was change is 'dark' to maybe 'darkness'. I believe very strongly that you should have won the contest you were entered in. Congratulations on a job very well done. Write on, poet.

    • pastiche
      July 10
      Edit | Reply

      dark

      Thanks for your kind comments.

      As for dark vs. darkness, I think that darkness is a softer version and I wanted an image more stark, more personalized.

      p.s. contest is not over yet but fingers crossed and thanks for the encouragement!

  • Lucian Valcor silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    very interesting poem and form short yet sweet , although im not sure what the poem is refering to i can say you did a wonderful job the form was nice it flowed well not much rhym but it didnt need it nice work

    Lucian”
  • sgking123
    July 9

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    In these few words you covered entire mankind and its futuire.Do we make our mind against evil and for good and 'light'?Right. Did you mean this or something else.Even I have covered this topic in my poetry.You must vist my portfolio for a full analysis of the issue.There are many poems that address this issue.I loved these two lines:


    dark cannot ride
    and light cannot come to the rescue –

  • GlassSlippers
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    But light so often DOES come to the rescue. I think that's the only reason to hope...


    • pastiche
      July 8
      Edit | Reply

      light and dark

      But if we never make some final choice, the darkness cannot come to take us - therefore what has light got to rescue us from?

      Hope comes from inner strength, self belief and enjoyment of the existence that cradles us. Look around, it is a beautiful life - who needs more?

      Best, with a smile,
      p

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 7
    Edit | Reply

    Boffo!

    Wouldn't be surprised to see this cut into a large stone someday.

    " ... light cannot come to the rescue ... "

    What a grand truth!

    Thanks for this.


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    Profound words, how very true my friend. All the best in the contest.

1 - 10 of 10