A figure unwieldy and awkwardly framed,
his body was fragile but only a shell.
Despite the dimensions for which he was named,
his spirit was splendid the day that he fell.
Considered too frail for a life unconstrained,
his world was a garden within its great wall.
But he wasn’t suited for life so restrained:
Escaping to live, to his death he would fall.
The legend of Humpty is not that he fell,
but that a whole kingdom was moved by his fall.
When living for nothing meant not dying well,
his destiny beckoned up there on the wall.
A garden is pleasant while waiting for death,
but climbing the wall lends purpose to breath.
Author notes
This is a variation on the common Shakespearean or Elizabethan sonnet. Instead of iambic pentameter, the meter is a headless anapestic tetrameter. The first of four metrical feet begins with only one instead of two unstressed syllables, making it iambic in effect.
In a list
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 6 The Wall - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 1, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Nursery Rhyme by Tqop.
650 points, ended February 27, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Honorable Mention Pre-Write by Leance.
450 points, ended July 19, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is a very good poem. I like the style that you used. I'm not too familiar with sonnets, but this one blew me away. Great job.
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Very intense.
Great!
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This poem is brilliant!! I've read it through a couple of times slowly, and the rhythm, meter and rhyming are great, and the idea is wonderful. The "H.D." in the title gives the reader the job of figuring out who the poem is about, and I imagine that somewhere a few lines in, most readers enjoy the moment of discovery with a smile. Taking the classic rhyme and flipping the perspective offers a whole new way of looking at this, and a reminder to do the same in life.
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Eggzactly what I needed to read tonight!
Mother Goose must be turning in her grave that you've taken her nursery rhyme and woven a sonnet with a grand moral!
The rhythm in this is outstanding! A mixture of iamb and anapset??? Consistant all the way through!
Your poetry never ceases to surprise me, Ben.Such superb craftsmanship never calls attention to itself, but lets us read close and learn.
Thank you for the lesson, and the laugh! Here's one for you~
http://www.cartoonbank.com/product_details.asp?sid=126350&affiliate=ny-slideshow
cw
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Great creation!
WOW! Can you write in form -- great write, I'm so impressed! Very good imagery and what a twist that you write about Humpty Dumpty! Very good humorous poem! Excellent work, my friend!
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This Lends To Much...
Thought #One- Humpty Dumpty, an example to others
Thought #Two- Motivational Mother Goose Books
What an interesting perspective you have on things!
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haha, this is a funny rendering of an old classic. I was quite thrown by it for at least two stanzas because I thought you were talking about the poet H.D. who was female!
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No Humpty Dumpty she
The writer H.D. (Hilda Doolittle) was a remarkable person who attempted and accomplished more than might have been expected for a woman of her era - maybe in any era. If she encountered any walls in her life, she seems to have blown through them as though they did not exist. She lived pretty much on her own terms with no external constraints on her art, sexuality or lifestyle. Still, there is not much popular reference to her life or her work, though you would think today's politics of gender would have made her an icon. Perhaps they do not like her because she lived and wrote without activism, without criticizing the lives and works of others, except to gently remonstrate with those who did snipe and sneer at fellow artists.
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A wonderful rendition of one of literatures greatest classics in a Shakespearian sonnet. Rhyme and meter spot on, just what the contests need so please keep your entries coming in the later rounds.
All the best
Jeff and Sue
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LOL ...
this is great. I love it.
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You stopped by my page to leave a comment on one of my poems. What a wonderful comment it was and it simply made me want to drop by your house to read your work. I’m so glad I did; you are a fantastic poet and this poem is proof of this statement. Penned in decasyllable, this sonnet flows with all the grace of any of the great masters. It is in my opinion, the very best that is posted in this contest. The ending couplet is original and classic.
Love,
Amera♥
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Your comment is a deeply appreciated encouragement! I have experimented from time to time with this meter, but until now I never shared anything I've attempted with it. To say the least, your evaluation of this effort exceeds my fondest expectation.
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