Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Fills in the gaps , Integration

With        a foot firmly planted and both      hands
Raised,    his heart always reaching out        toward
Good,      he didn't always realize it was      God.

At every turn          he                  tested his faith
And every time,                          another bubble burst.
Falling,                                  all alone again,
With his faith      placed              in the wrong places.

She comes        and fills              the hole in his heart,
Jealous        of every other,          demanding all of him.
His heart                  loves          unconditionally;
He just wants        to                believe in someone.

His stories always end      the same then      begin again.
He knows he's foolish,                        knows he's broken,
Knows that                  he                can't fix himself;
Hes fallen out of love                          with his nightmare.

With a foot firmly planted      and        both hands        raised
His heart always reaches out              toward good          but finds illusion.
He knows he's sick,          knows    he's guilty,            he's dumb;
He knows                              without God    and time    he'll stay the same.

Author notes

This is an experiment. I tried to show a sickness and cure, the why and how, several voices at once. There is a lot going on in this. I wouldn't call it a poem yet, it will take a lot more work before that happens. What I would like is any input on how you interpret this, ideas on how to get this puzzle into a final draft, images that come to mind while you read this, or a life experience you've had that this may bring to mind. Anything that comes to mind in reaction to reading this is perfectly good as a comment, it serves as a gage to show if I'm doing what I want with this.

Thank you.

Can you see several voices in this?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)