Brilliant colors colliding
onto blank state of mind,
freedom calls
Whimsy wings take you
drifting towards life.
freedom calls
Darkness fades as light
focuses upon the mirage,
freedom calls
Trade me places won't you
take this pain from me.
freedom calls
Warm air picks you up
going anywhere you wish,
freedom calls
Let us run away together
fading into the sunset.
freedom called.
Author notes
This was different and the picture was very inspiring. Hope you all like it!
A contest entry
- ♥ Delicate Thoughts Contest ♥ by Once Upon A Mind.
1600 points, ended July 22, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Gimme your best advice!
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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that is some kind of poem, makes you just wish and for some it makes them remember, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Thanks Aaron, I am always glad to see that you are still reading my poetry!
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My God, Amandahy, this is absolutely beautiful. You are so talented, don't ever think differently. This really spoke to me, I'm so lucky to have been able to read it. I'm glad I have talented friends, I'm such a snob.
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Hey if I am the reason you are a snob then hey I will take the responsibility head on so to speak
Thanks for the wonderful comment. I am trying to improve my poetry and the wording I use, but sometimes I fall into this rut and am unable to get out.
Amadahy
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"Trade me places won't you
take this pain from me."
I don't fancy these 2 lines...they sound unoriginal.
"Let us run away together"
Also unoriginal.
The rest...FABULOUS!!
The metaphors you exhibited in that first stanza are wonderful and cohesive.
"Wimsy wings take you
drifting towards life."
Wimsy?? Did you mean 'whimsy'? Or 'whimsical'?
"as light
focuses upon the mirage,"
Sometimes light can create the mirage...great line.
Good luck here
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Ok, I can where you are coming from.. do you have any suggestions to make it roll and sound not so cliche?
I am glad that you liked most of it
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I can only show you the door
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hmmm
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I love how you used Freedom Calls through out the poem, and at the end, Freedom Called - as like an answer
Also very fitting for the holidays 
Great write, and deep take on the prompts - thank you so much for entering your work here
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When I was sitting down to write this poem I kept coming back to freedom calls and at the end I added in between the thoughts. Glad a new face is enjoying my poetry.
Amadahy
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great work I love the poem dear, not your normal but i like it a nice change
Love Lucian" -
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Thanks baby! It's helpful to write out of the norm stuff sometimes.
I love you!
Amadahy
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Beautifully done. This has such a soft flow to it that it feels like it carries you through the piece. Take a bow, you deserve it.
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Thank you Gypsy, it means a lot to me to see you say that. Here I am just a woman who writes when she needs to get stuff out of her mind and whatnot and who doesn't think any of her stuff is good hears this from someone who is amazing in their talents.
Thank you!
Amadahy
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I love the repeating lines you have here =] they really push the meaning of the poem along, and the words you used were amazing! ^-^
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
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Thanks for your comment. I liked this contest and the picture was stunning.
Amadahy
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