this blank page
was your only support
helped you through the day
like it knows how to survive
don't show people your weakness
your situation ain't realistic
people will think your a liar
so you hold on to nothing,
but obey to survive
they manipulate you
try to bully you till you kill yourself
destroy everything you loved
make you feel,
like your the worst human on this planet
only whisper for help,
when everything goes wrong
try to listen to stories,
about how life used to be like
fight your tears,
cause crying is a weakness
and living like this
is normal for now
when you release yourself
from the agony they've caused
you know you'll never go back
still your mum says:
c'mon, it IS your dad!
though everything he did
she thinks you should forgive him
he almost caused your suicide
and was letting you live,
like fear of living is normal
now you try to hold on to the future
cause the past is trying to kill you
but how to forget your own family?
how to forget the trauma it caused?
so i find something to hold on to,
and hope it stays this time
i try to forget him
because this time i don't wont to fall
what do you think just reading the first few lines of this peom (first impression)
Comments
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the first few lines, even the title, grabbed me by the throat and pulled me in
this was a raw and riveting relentless piece, very moving
the only thing i disagree with and it isnt your poem itsself (no offense intended) is the misbegotten belief that crying is weakness, it takes amazing strength to cry, to feel our emotions as they come at us and not bury them deep
and to the mother who said "c'mon, it IS your dad!", i would reply, "why didnt that bond stop him hurting me, c'mon, I AM his kid! your kid! and look at us!!!"
past cannot be changed, past is dead, you need to grieve it so you can get past it, grieve the torn relationships, grieve your loss of innocence thru the family machinations, grieve it ALL
the family, they wont change unless they want to, so work on you, and try and consider the source of anything ill they say, seek aid, no shame in that either, it is intelligent to protect yourself at all cost as it seems to me the job falls more on you as no one of the family seem to want to own their parts or that is what i get from that mother quote
i am sorry if i come across as too personal, this poem touches a great deal of my past as well
keep up the good work, you have a gift with words
PEACE
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