even a man who is pure in heart,
and says his prayers by night.
May become a wolf,
when the wolfbane is in bloom,
And the autumn moon is bright.
Baila the gypsy knew the poem well,
the truth is he had been through hell.
The night the balalaikas played,
his journey home had been delayed,
and walking through the moonlit fog,
he heard a noise a growling dog?
As he quickened up his pace,
He met the monster face to face.
A face that is, covered in hair,
It gave poor Baila quite a scare.
It bared its fangs and growled again,
and Baila shot off down the lane.
The werewolf was in close pursuit,
caught him up, claws ripped his suit.
Its fangs sunk deep into his chest,
tearing off his blood soaked vest.
His mother helped him get inside,
his gaping wounds were hard to hide.
She looked at him quite in despair,
said "was it a wolf you met out there.
Then Baila it’s is a day you’ll rue,
now you'll become a werewolf too."
When later on one night in june,
where wolf bane grows under the moon.
Baila will be waiting there ,
with yellow fangs and matted hair.
And when the balalaikas play,
Get off home the quickest way.
Author notes
JUDMC option One..Wolf
A contest entry
- Monster Madness by Dark Otter.
1000 points, ended July 23, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Wolf Within by blackrosesteph.
450 points, ended August 13, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come all Vampire lovers by okadadokie.
650 points, ended August 3, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imaginary by know one.
750 points, ended August 29, 2008, 109 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Creepy Scarey Stop my Heart, Not Gorey (Unless it's Edward-Inspired) by Star Shine.
1050 points, ended August 27, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Grant Me a Birthday Wish! by Upon Deaths Meeting.
725 points, ended November 9, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Asylum by RemovedName.
1750 points, ended July 30, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I must be insane. PREWRITES! by borrowing.moonlight.
720 points, ended July 30, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want dark, mysterious, painful, intrigue, give me your best, paint me your picture by skilter.
460 points, ended August 11, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scare My Pants Off! by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
1225 points, ended August 29, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let darkness bleed from the very orifices of your muse. by CentrifugalCorpse.
650 points, ended August 17, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm lonely. by Horrific Hollis.
1600 points, ended August 29, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Impress The Doctor of Halloween and Horrors! by FinalWhisper.
1300 points, ended November 6, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest - round 1 by serenity silvermoon.
929 points, ended October 12, 461 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 60 of 60
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Refreshing.
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My friend, I have to DQ again, because you broke the same rule as last time. ><
Nothing I've commented on before, sorry. -
I loved this! it was very well written with great emotions and fantastic imagery.
I loved it! WOW! BRAVO! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Wow- that was a really fun piece! I loved the idea of that poem. Some area's need a little work, but overall this was a really (as I said before) fun piece! I enjoyed it a lot, keep up the writing.
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this was very good, not sure if it fits what I am looking for in my contest, but i thoroughly enjoed this piece. i will definitely consider it. thank you for entering!
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odd
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This is a great poem and I love it, but one of the rules was poems I have yet to comment. I have to dq, sorry.
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Good
A littel bit of the ryhmeing sounded forced, and the format changed, other than that it was cool, i love werewolves
Good luck in the contest
-Cody -
dark and sad a very good combination I also love werewolves so very very much. ZThis was a great portrayal of them thank you for entering this I really enjoyed it
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This is very very nice, though dark and rather sad. Excellent rhyming and flow. I like that it is a tale, with a characters and setting and rise in action and in tension and everything.
You did a wonderful job which I truly enjoyed. (Finally, someone has written something that fits the contest)
Thank you for entering your work in my contest. Keep on writing and good luck.
Nooni
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I like this poem. I'm a huge werewolf fan, so that's a plus. And I like that it was a poem/story type deal, very interesting. Good luck to you!
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Well done
good flow, powerful use of words thank you for entering my contest and good luck
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wyntyrdaze
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man"glad you liked it.
Best Wishes...George...
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Okay I always comment as I read and I think since there are only 6 stanzas I will break them up into two....
Stanza 1 and 2:
I noticed how great the ryhme was right off the bat so smooth and made for a great over all flow. I think that you really must know your myths as well to put into this what you did. Great show of detail thus far...
Stanza 3 and 4:
hmm stanza 3 the rhyme get rocky with the last line... great story so far I am really fasinated by this so far...
stanza 5 and 6:
great ending I really loved this story you really did a fantastic job on this bravo! -
very good piece it is like an old fairy tale i enjoyed it ver much thank you for entering
xox
Tash -
Very nice! Werewolves have to be my favourite creatures out there and you did do them justice.
Thanks for the entry!
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ooooooh werewolves this is different! I really enjoyed it and the imagery is really really well done!!! Thank you so much for entering this contest and I wish you the greatest luck! Well donE!!!!!
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My, My
What quite a tale. It was lovely while it was covered in blood. It made me laugh and ended with a smirk. I like this piece. It amuses me. Well done. Good luck wolf...
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Although it's a good poem, I don't see how it fits into my contest. Message me and tell me, please.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest. -
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BrokenHeartsInVain
Re. "the Wolf man,you asked for blood and gore...George
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Love Wolves
Wow thank you for entering our contest and wonderful tale in verse....Novy & Brazos
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Good. Very entertaining. Thanx for the entry
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I'm closing this contest because of the glitches
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wooooow thats one of the best were wolf poems on my contest keep it up -huggles-
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nicely done I liked it alot thanks for entering this had a real Bad moon feel to it
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Ahh! the third time
that this has been in one of my contests. Thank you for sharing this once again.
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Dark Otter
Very nice of you to be so tolerant with me I didn't realise it was
the same contest I'd been entered in twice before.At 84 my memory
isn't what it was,so sorry Best Wishes George
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EXCELLENT
a delicious trip good luck in the contest
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A great retelling of an ancient tale. Nice job. I would have liked something elegant even more, but this is really good nonetheless. Keep up the good work! Thanks for entering and good luck.
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I agree the imagery of this piece is well done. Personally I like the story line, the way it leads you through and much enjoyed this.
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Awesome write.Great detail.Good description. I truly enjoyed reading this poem. Good flow.
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wow this was really cool,
The werewolf was in close pursuit,
caught him up, claws ripped his suit.
Its fangs sunk deep into his chest,
tearing off his blood soaked vest.
His mother helped him get inside,
his gaping wounds were hard to hide.
loved this, good imagery. good job and good luc -
Well it's never easy telling a rhyming story, but in most of this you have nailed it! Congrats on previous trophy's well deserved for this story.
Good luck in the contest.
Have a look at my entry's:
The Hitchhiker: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3763574
The Pastor: http://allpoetry.com/poem/3772812
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Timespell
Many thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man" very much appreciated Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George
I read your two poems which were very well written but it would be
unfair of me to comment on the contents as I don't go in for that kind of dark rhymeless poetry I would be only too pleased to comment
on any other kind of your poetry that you write.
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Wow! Congartualtions on all the previous trophies. Well deserved. Although this deserved a silver or Gold. Good luck in this contest!
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Ylova
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man" Im so glad you liked it lol.Best Wishes and kindest Regards George ++++ -
Ylova
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man" very much appreciated. I read your poem it was very well written and I liked reading it very much.Keep Writing Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George ++++
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Nice job. Best of luck.
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Very interesting story described here. Your rhyming was a bit off in some places (just a line or two that didn't fit in the scheme), but other than that, nicely done! Now I need to go Google what a 'balalaika' is lol. Thank you for entering, and good luck!
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NekoFelix
Glad you found"The Wolf Man" interesting but since everyone else
complimented me on the rhyming I won't be making any MORE alterations
Best Wishes George
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On line 11, the question mark is puzzling. To make more sense, you should probably add a comma after 'noise'. In line 14, you don't need a comma after 'is'. I like the rhyming of it. Well done.
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kudos!
this poem tells a very entertaining story and flows and rhymes just so beautifully! i liked i very much! thanks so much for entering! good luck! -
It's hard to know whether you feel sorry for these 'people/creatures' or whether you just wish to run from them (if they existed, that is). Must be a terrible existance, but at least you get plenty of protein.
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good write
good luck in the contest.
melissahhmidnite -
This is my first time to read a poem about a werewolf; a wonderful tale you've written here, all right ^^
I like the pace of the poem and the introduction was fitting for the reader to continue, well, reading this piece
Now I think this piece should've been divided into more stanzas to give it a free loose, letting the reader view the lines well, you know?
Also, I'd like to point out that your "it's" should be "its"
Overall, I simply enjoyed this, all right ~ -
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PatheticKt
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man"
I have taken your useful advice re the stanzas and my usual
mistake "its" it does read better now Best Wishes George -
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You're welcome; best wishes to you as well ^^
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this is really cool, not exactly what i was looking for but none the less impressive enough that even though i was not expecting to hear a fictional story come from my "dark" theme, i liked it very much. great write!
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Love this, they rhyme and meter add to the classic werewolf tale, I have a soft spot for them now since Lupin in Harry Potter, but not so soft that I would tarry off the path at night..Well done, thanks for the entry.
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cool
I really like the seamless rhyme you used,great write and thanks for entering! -
It's quiet lovely, but it seemed you did not read the rules. Sorry.
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Super poem! Great job.
~Oka/KC -
I really loved your peice, but I didn't want a warewolf poem. I wanted vampires. Although your poem was very great, I can't judge it. I'm sorry. Awesome poem though!!
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Love it! You created a great take here. but I would make sure to credit the old gypsy poem in your authors notes. on that note I like the way you used it in the beginning.
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blackrosesteph
Many Thanks for your kind comments on "The Wolf Man
it would be difficult to credit anyone with the initial
poem since it first appeared 50 years ago in a film
starring Lon Chaney and Madame ouspenkiya (who was the gypsies mother) she mouthed the poem.Best Wishes and Kindest Regards George ++++
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GREAT
Though this is certainly not what i was expecting for the option of blood and gore. I've got to say i really love this. Mythical creatures such as werewolves and vampyres, always do catch my attention. Wonderful.
Thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest. -
Thank you for entering my contest.
Oooo, creepy story! The actual attack was probably the best part of the peice - it was more descriptive.
Good job
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Well this is just brilliant... well done!!!! Riveting, well reading... and the delectable tale itself, all fantastic!
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I am sorry but you did not follow my rules and I could not tell how this was relevent to my contest sorry but this is a very beautiful read. and it was definitly worth my while.
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I enjoyed the legend
coming to life with the victim now the predator. I just wished that you could've gone even further with the Eastern European voice. That was your best hook, thank for the entry.
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