her fingers, like long sad snails draw down his face
she’d curved her throat upon
as orange, open coffin lid throes of dusk
paint their goodbyes from him, too
A contest entry
- 30 words by Melissa Gayle.
1200 points, ended July 9, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I shall only curve my long fingers down your face in tenderness, Beloved...& my throat shall be yours to savor endlessly... 
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wow. i love it , it makes me think of a vampire .
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A 30 word masterpiece.
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I'd almost like to see the removal of one of the adjectives in line one -
otherwise, excellent piece.
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crap!!! i meant to take out that word 'grayed' from the first line ....
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done ...
thank you for honoring me with the gold in this contest -
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so much smoother now.
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whenever you point something out it is right at the very heart of the error and right on the money and exactly correct ... I am very impressed ... you have improved two of my poems by directing me to major flaws in either format or syntax, and the only ones and the ones which i saw instantly were needful and in my opinion very damaging to the poem, wow .. dang!!!
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Beautiful. C
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