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Nothing left to Inherit

There is a sad little stone that I know fairly well
I have lived on it all of my life
with all of the the other ants
pathetic
but we still go on in our self-righteous religion fueled trance
and ensure our own systematic extinction

Diesel-fueled death machines ravage the Earth
and leave it bleeding
We do not mind though
Blood is something we are very used to
God's great race is a violent race

The beasts are all harnessed
The forests scorched
and anyone who opposed us is slain
in the name of holiness and oil
God's great race is a greedy race

Should I even have kids?
Will they hate me for spawning them into a world
of hate and hurt
One of my biggest dreams has been slaughtered
at the age of sixteen
by the old, fat politicians
Who just want to get their kicks before they die
I'm sorry kids, there is nothing left for you to inherit
Paradise is a lie

Hell however, we created ourselves



 

Author notes

This is a true story

A contest entry

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Comments


  • She Has My Heart
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    I love the opening line...which kind of makes the next couple a little disappointing. But I like the image as a whole of that first stanza, it's just worded a little flatly for me.

    Nice alliteration at the start of the second stanza...crass but effective. The "God's great race" parts have a very...nursery rhyme type feel to them. It reminds me of Dobby in Harry Potter for some reason :S

    "and anyone who opposed us is slain"

    I think would be better as

    "and anyone who opposed us; slain" or another piece of appropriate punctuation there. It's just the sounds of "us" and "is" close together...make it a little clunky.

    And that's a good question. Is it fair on your children if you bring them into a world that we could quickly turn into.

    My girlfriend's "biggest dream" is also to have kids. She is also 16. Cool.

    I like the last line. Some of this seems a little flat footed to me. Maybe some more oomph. Maybe it's good in it's straight-forwardness.

    I like it though...and...it made me think, so that's a plus.

    Thanks x


    • TheShanesaw
      July 6

      Edit | Reply
      I cant disagree with anything that you said.

      This was one of those improv poems that I re-read and am not impressed by haha. At least I got some frustration out.

      thanks

      • She Has My Heart
        July 6
        Edit | Reply
        Thanks for taking it the way you did. Most wouldn't. Releasing frustration is as good a reason for writing poetry as any