Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
 

Notes For Mama

Missing image

I use to play this little game,

the  that held a clue.  
They brought a smile to my mamas face,

as she followed  the  directions through.
Little notes I put here and there,

things for her to find .
And when she'd find them they would tell her ,

keep looking one more time.

Some I placed on the frig door,
once one was on her bedroom floor.
I loved placing them on the mirror to,
for she was always in the bathroom.

My little notes would hold such love,
little hearts and kisses with a rainbow up above.
But the one that held the gift you see,
that note was pinned to me .

I watched my mama after the game one day,
I thought she was throwing my little notes away .
But as I watched she placed them in her dresser drawer with care,
It made me smile at the love she so shared .

One thing her little girl didn't know,
is how her mama placed them in a scrap book so 
that on her graduation day,
that  book of memories would be  so displayed.

For on each page was a scavenger hunt,
with little notes presented one by one.
Then at the bottom so displayed,
was the little girl with a note with a smile on her face.

Author notes

You be a good girl and remember mama's love little notes and she holds them all with love .

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • jackreed3
    July 8
    Edit | Reply
    This is a Beuty Write... You are so talented...
    your friend in poetry... JackReed3...

  • Jasmine likes this one so much. She leaves her mommy little notes too. Much love always.

  • maralisa gold member
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    My little notes would hold such love,
    little hearts and kisses with a rainbow up above.
    But the one that held the gift you see,that note was pinned to me .he placed them in her dresser drawer with care,It made me smile at the love she so shared .wow this is beautiful I can relate my daughter does the same and she is 8 lovely good luck in the contest


  • DeGraw
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    Adorable!

    How absolutely adorable! Sounds like a true story. Well written. Put a smile on my face!
    Regards,
    Jennifer

  • aww... this is so sweet, you were such a creative child and you mother must really have treasured these treasure hunts, just as you did. i love how you have told this story, thanks so much for sharing it with us, brought a huge smile to my face.

    on a more technical note, i think a few points could be a bit clearer, it seems maybe the meaning was warped slightly by the rhyme scheme. here are a few suggestions that might make it a little clearer and smoother, to be taken with a grain of salt.

    "the notes held a clue."- "with notes that held a clue" or "with notes that each held a clue"(?)

    "as she followed through."- "as she followed the directions through" (?)

    "And as finding them it would tell her"- maybe something along the lines of "And when she'd find them they would tell her" or "But as soon as she found them they would tell her"

    "is how her mama placed them in a scrap book just so.
    Then on her graduation day,
    that little book of memories were so displayed."-
    what do you think of something like
    "is how her mama placed them in a scrap book so
    that on her graduation day
    that book of memories would be proudly displayed"

    "with little notes placed one by one.
    Then at the bottom so displayed," - maybe "with little notes presented one by one. / Then at the bottom a photograph was placed"

    "It made me smile for the love she so shared ." - "It made me smile at the love she so shared." or "It made me smile, the love she so shared."

    also, "my mamas face" - "mama's"
    "on the mirror to"- "too"
    "that held the gift you see," - "that held the gift, you see,"

    but this is just applying a little polish to a solid, lovely, sweet, and meaningful poem that can be enjoyed and appreciated by adults and children alike.
  • This is wonderfil. Jasmine does love to write me little notes and draw me pictures. Much love always.
1 - 6 of 6