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Naughty SHE .........

She licks me finger-deep
while I am fast asleep.

She wants to keep me neat.
She licks my toes and feet.

She rubs, she licks, she sucks;
then bolts the door and fucks.

She licks my inner thigh
and makes me moan and cry.

Her naughty tongue explores
my juicy corridors.

Author notes

SHE advised me not to reveal all what happens between us...So don't blame me if there are missing links.....Just imagine what else might happen....I bet your imagination is quite powerful.

A contest entry

An Open Invitation.....What do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 67 of 67

  • ButILoveHer silver member
    May 10, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    so sensual even if there are some missing links.. it leaves me with my own wild imagination


  • turpentine
    February 15, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I love it. The words are really nice


  • JustAnotherIdoit
    January 14, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i love the " she rubs she likes she sucks, then bolts the door and fucks" your a genius, seriously. simple, but genius. i can tell you if someone was licking me finger-deep I would NOT be fast asleep nice write, honey. i need to write something and dedicate it to you.


    • Galaxy2
      January 14, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      JustAnotherIdoit

      You're such a cuty, honey! I feel like licking your finger...

  • Phillip C. Moon
    January 10, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I really do wish i was a girl so i could join too. ):


  • xxBlack Dawnxx
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    very kinky, i like the fact your not shy to say how it is


  • Darc Soul 69
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    certain imagination's can run wild with this piece as I know mine did. You truely deserved the silver on this and I thank you for sharing, now off to add you as a favorite.

    • Galaxy2
      November 5, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Nite Soul

      My wilder dreams are yet to come true...


  • Master Ktulu silver member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This flowed well and really was an overall great read. It left images in the mind of the reader. Congrats on the silver

    **Master Ktulu**


  • CRi2-B3HiND-4-SMiL3
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wanna try w/me?


  • Leonura
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sighs with passion. something ye seem to be verra good at lass.

    • Galaxy2
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Leonura

      I mistook your sigh for moaning. I bet your moans are delicious too.

  • soul survivor
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "tasty" poem here. i love the thoughts created in my mind from this write. congrats on the silver.

    • Galaxy2
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      soul survivor

      The taste of the pudding is in its eating, sweetie!


  • MissErinMichelle
    October 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is hot. mind numbingly sensual. Makes me wish I was there watching

    • Galaxy2
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      MissErinMichelle

      Thanks for the reservation.


  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    October 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another great write by you!
    Well done and congratulations on your Silver
    for this one. Keep up the wonderful work here!




    Jeremy0826

    • Galaxy2
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Jeremy0826

      I need not keep up the work lest there is the dearth of juices in the long run.


  • Ingrid wastegash
    October 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    lulz,,
    kinky much??

    • Galaxy2
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Ingridfalls

      Let me check the dick-tionary to see what kinky means.


  • Travel Notes
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Her naughty tongue explores
    my juicy corridors.

    ooh my.... that's enough to make absolutely anyone hot right there. your rhyme is tight and your imagery is amazing. keep up the good work!!!

    • Galaxy2
      October 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Nymph-Angel

      Let me know the names of the ones who might get hot. I might need them.


  • UnHoLy-VeNgEaNcE
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow this is yet another one that is omfggg

    • Galaxy2
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      XSyNnFul-SyNLex

      Let's do it together....lol


  • Rhythm Child
    October 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    intense ! :]


  • Iridessa MoonFlower
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is great. I am really impressed. Also I am honored a person with such skill would even comment on mine. Thank you. ~~Iridessa~~

    • Galaxy2
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Iridessa

      Thank you, honey!
      You are so sweet, so kissable!


    • Galaxy2
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      MoonFlower

      My aim is to fill myself with pleasure....
      and return the favor...if anyone fills me with lustful pleasure...
      Thank you, honey!


  • YourAddictedLover
    September 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Oh wow...

    I love it!!!! It so good! It made me shiver, in a good way, for more...very nice Galaxy!


  • cre8tiv-writer
    September 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. My. Gosh. This is nastily delicious!!

    • Galaxy2
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      cre8tiv-writer

      Your comment is delicious...
      you must be delious too...


  • fallenAngel86
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awesome poem, you always seem to make me want more.. lol
    the secretness just show's how loyal you are, your truelly a kindrid sperit.


    • Galaxy2
      October 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      lovespell86

      Thanks honey...
      Secrect gives me pleasure...and makes the women secure...usually they need secrecy...I always do it very very secretively...


  • Gypsie Ink
    September 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Oooohhh...

    Naughty! Congrats on the Silver!


  • hotchocolate gold member
    August 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ah Naughty SHE, she is!! This is a great one!!!

    • Galaxy2
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      hotchocolate

      I like it naughty...
      Want to be naughty with me, sweet baby?
      Galaxy2


  • Lexie
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, you are a very good erotic writer. you always leave me wanting more. great great way and creativety. line after line, you left me speachless.


    • Galaxy2
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Lexie

      It was not my intention to make you speechless, honey!
      My intentions were really bad....
      I hope you know what I mean...
      Kissessss, cutie!
      Galaxy2

  • blaq roze
    August 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was really well written, not to mention, VERY juicy...congrats on silver!

    • Galaxy2
      August 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      blaq roze

      I can't stop the juices when they tend to flow....
      Thanks for the comment!


  • KokoKittiBoo
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Mmmm.

    Wow, now that's a poem for ya. Very descriptive, very discreet, very good. :kiss:

    • Galaxy2
      August 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Kokokitty

      Thank you, my sweet Kitty!

      You can kiss me anywhere you feel like....


  • Ted E Bare gold member
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did an excellent job with descriptions of lust while being graceful to the imagination. Simply sexy and sultry. Good luck in the contest.

    Ted E


  • Sesheta
    July 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This says a lot for something so edited I love the rhyme and touch of sharing...well done.

    • Galaxy2
      July 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      JezlsaRos

      Thank you very much indeed for the encouraging comment, noney!

  • BrookeLea
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it! It really let my imagination run wild. I love sexy poems and stories like this! Keep up the good work!


    • Galaxy2
      July 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      BrookeLea

      I keep my mind open...allowing my imagination run wild...
      I enjoy it that way...

  • cherrysmile
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hi love how are you now you no i love this hell i love all of your writing luv you!!!!!!!


    • Galaxy2
      July 8, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      cherrysmile

      Seems you like my poems more than I do.
      And do you know, honey, what I love....CHERRIES PRESENTED WITH A LUSTFUL SMILE....
      Galaxy2


  • myron silver member
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    The combination of enjambement and end-stopped rhymes in these sizzling couplets gives the poem a wonderful flow. The images are crisp and vivid - it's such a relief to read a sensual poem which is not littered with tautological adjectives, as this makes the nouns more evocative and sexy.

    Good luck in the contest,
    Myron.

    • Galaxy2
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      myron

      That's really very very encouraging a comment, baby!
      So grateful!
      Galaxy2


  • Still single
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    p.s. i think you have chosen the wrong word in line 8, did you really mean mourn and not moan?

    • Galaxy2
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Still single

      It was an unintentional slip. Rectified. Thanks.


  • Still single
    July 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good work, i really enjoyed the read because its so light hearted and sexy. and great lines in the middle, "she rubs, she licks, she sucks, she bolts the door and fucks." And bolting the door has such a great medievil and castle type connotation.

    The last couplet could use your attention, you've just got the stresses a bit wrong and it makes it very hard to read, right when you want the reader to fell happy and content with the flow. you'll see what i mean if you say it out loud.

    thanks for the entry.


    • Galaxy2
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Still single

      Your comment is highly educative and encouraging. Thank you very much. Your observation of the last couplet seemed to be valid. I decided to delete it. Thank you, my dear!

1 - 67 of 67