Even in a dirt floor hovel,
If blankets, I have, to keep me warm.
And from the elements, cover.
As long as I've got my sun-rays
Cascading down, upon my little house;
I should say, for all of my days;
I will be content.
Nay, food nor water will be provided,
I'll take pride in finding it myself.
No matter where I live,
Nature will be around me;
Well, perhaps not in the city.
Be it;
Desert,
Plains,
On a lake,
On a mountain,
In a canyon,
On a raft,
In a tree;
As long as I'm with you,
And well, a few babies make four more then three.
I will be content;
No,
I will be happy.
Author notes
I was just thinking about what really makes me happy.
It isn't much. Would just like some children, not to live in the city.
I always thought I had wanted too, but I think I'd like to live in the desert or near a mountain more...
A contest entry
- Contentment by z etoile.
300 points, ended July 15, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Mistakes? Improvements that need to be made? Tips and tricks? I'd like some advice please.
Comments
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Great job I enjoyed this piece from the beginning to the end. Thank you for entering the contest.
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It's not exactly what would make me happy. But, maybe I'm a little selfish. Maybe, I just need to be out in nature more and not take everything for granted.
It's a good poem.
The first stanza was my favorite. It reminded me of a tent - camping or something.
The second stanza reminds me of a popular theory saying that the suns rays emit chemicals that naturally make you happy. So, I can definitely see this being an evident part of happiness.
Did you mean to say "stay" or "say" in the last line of the second stanza?
I will be content reminds me of something I never really have. But, with things that make you happy you will be content.
The fourth stanza - those aspects would bother me greatly. It's OK if you're lost, but when it's around you why not take it in.
Nature is in the city. It is wherever you go. But, I do see your point about not wanting to be in the city.
I also like the rest. The last part about being happy rather than content is interesting. I think they both go hand in hand.
well, good job
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I like this poem.
When I got to the point of having children, I felt that getting out of the city would be best for them. Easier to play outdoors in fresher air.
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