last august

just another day beautiful sunny day
hopefully many shall follow
just another thought
just to be proved ever so wrong
another day another ....

he got me im stuck
i cant breathe
i can hardly scream
oh god help me!
like a bird in a cage with the lock on
or with no wings at all...
my blood in my hands as on my clothes
i cant breathe,cant fly away
..still i struggle to stumble away
try to pick up my feathers and go
im running but to him im walking
im caught like a fly in a web
i cant struggle free he's got stronger
and i cant even fight
im weak and just another victim to lie about
another knot in your bed post

i cant breathe and can not scream,i cant hit or kick you away
just a doll in your eyes
one that you see every inch of,touched every part of,groped and played with every meter of every inch of every milliameter
nothing left pure
balck stains on angels wings.
a car comes by and while your distracted at watching it
i wiggle free, this bird now knows what its prey feels like.
its a torture of a long pain that may not go on for a minute longer than what is going thruogh their mind.
he hasnt finished though, he still says lovers names and tries to make you feel guilt
he grabbed my arms and i couldnt yet i let him in control still,
he wants to know if it as any good!?
any good to the devil more like.
i just said what he wanted to hear than made the music in my head get louder
as i stagger home crying, just pretend to the bloodline that nothing has happened
im fine,im just tired
my ex is sitting there, god he knows me too well,he knows something wrong
i just cant say it,i start crying till my eyes feel like they are going to bleed
the perspective changes
i only want to please the devil now, as im now in his service, only to end up my ex and i intwined,taking the memory away is all the pleasure. pleasure being the tottal opposite, just another torture,just a confussed child trying to understand
coving up the memory with another of beauty wont help
just makes it worse just wanting to
take the day away in the thing thats started it...
...just a doll just a sex symbol
nothing more
and nothing less
just less clothes and purity...

just a hurtful day that resounds in my thoughts everyday
of every minute of every secound.

tears down my face can only show the pain i feel
in more than one way

my head hurts,my body violated and tortured
my ears feel like the music i play isnt hard enough
to kill the memory away...