In a little square ice cube
I stay
I can't get out of it
I yell out
Help, Help
But no-one replys
I try and move
But i'm completely stuck
I yell out
'Help' once more
But there is no answer
No-one is hearing me
I'm muted to them
They're muted to me
What can I do?
How do I free myself out of this ice cube?
I try my best to let myself free
I close my eyes and wished that it was a dream
When I wake up
I yell out help again
Still no reply
They're still muted
Why?
I try and try
But nothing works
I figure out i'm trapped in this ice cube forever
Author notes
I tryed my best to write this poem... i hope you enjoyed it
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Bet it must be pretty cold in there
We'll get your Mom to come down with a hair dryer and melt you out 
Moms are good for rescuing us when things go wrong
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just like all situations where we are stuck with what sems to be no escape, help will come. think warm thoughts and eventually the ice will melt and you can swim to the rim and climb out of the well of tears. great write...Artis
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awwww thats really awesome writing! you are truly talented for someone so young. Everyone feels like they are trapped in an ice cube sometimes
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This is a truely wonderful and deep piece of work. Your words show a maturity beyond your young years. Take care and keep up the wonderful work.
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The simplicity of the language is impressive when compared to the strength of the message.
Also, having a bad day, MFP?
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Keep up the good work. Great creativity!
stuck inside of an icecube.. why didnt i think of that! -
I love the simplicity of the words and the clarity of it all. The message and intent is clear and strong. And, of course, it's very easy to relate to.
Great poem! -
you have a great imagination. i enjoyed this. keep writing young poet! God bless you always
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You have a wonderful imagination and I hope it continues to grow in the coming years--Very well written!!!
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hey
i like this one, it was good
im not going to say im amazed by your age, because i think age has nothing to do with it, ive been writing since i was even younger than you haha
but i think you have a great sense of empathy, that means your able to put yourself in another persons shoes well
and its a really good metaphor
overall, well done honey
x -
I wouldn't want to be trapped in and ice cube forever! brrrr too chilly Very creative and cute.
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Wow,dear you have such an imagination, plus you are so perceptive, and creative! You put yourself into what it would feel like to be an ice cube and have done an excellent job in this write..Now I am thinking I am the same.????I just love this..And you are only 10! Keep up the good work! Bravo!
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Love it! How wonderful...you have a vivid imagination yourself! The imagery here is fantastic and your write certainly made me feel anxious and trapped.
A few spelling things again...
line 8 - completely
line 14 - they're
Wonderfully done!
Lucy
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When you first showed me this poem, I said WOW!! I am still saying it! You deserve every wonderful comment that everyone has left for you sweetheart. As pania said, you really are finding your own way to speak...as a poet. I'm so proud of you!
Lotsa love and the biggest hugs
Mum xxx
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Just You and Me, Babe
Looks like we are the only ones left with any semblance of life....
Go in PEACE!
bjarne -
So Much at 10
The challenge is to respond to your piece with the maturity required by your level of work.
How can I say, "... you blew me away...", how many times to impress you?
While I am 68... I bow to your genius... YOUNG'N !!!!
Go forth without even a 1/2 thought!
bj
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Oh my! Great job!
I've had crazy dreams like this before, being stuck in like this rock thingy... It was freaky, crazy!
Keep up the good work - amazing imagination
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Wow!
I really like this piece. I love the metaphor of being trapped in a ice cube. Like spideracer said, it is evident that you put a lot of effort into this and have thought it through very carefully. I like it and I think this definitely shows that you have potential. Once again, good work!
xx Skye -
This is great
I can see you tried your best, it shows in every stanza. Trapped in an ice cube, how original and you made it flow nicely. You definitely are getting better as a poet. It just goes to show, inspiration can come from anywhere. -
This is a great poem, Georgia. You are really finding your own way to speak, as a poet. This reminded me of when I licked the ice in the freezer, when I was your age, and my tongue stuck!
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way to go
angel girl.....that was amazing....i loved it every word
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I really like this poem Georgia. You are becoming a very good poet. This is one of your best!!!
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