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Hope

I want to change the system
I will get much older and rise above this
the ways they are living shine so bright
So blinding are these objects.

So intense and so pointless to me
I am dirty, I am not pretty
who needs these expensive shoes,
When you are bold enough to wear
What keeps you walking?
Why not go through life--

(What keeps me pale and white?)

Without these dark alleys to fear?
with less of these things that we can't afford
I would like to go through a world
A place, balance on the edge.

But why do I need a reward?
I will pass away
And I can demand with my heart
Peace for an eternity.

Who will lead the way, yes,
Who will lead the way?

What man could take her hand?
Though it shall never be mine
You must understand

Out of the box and free from things that
Keep me so inside
and even though I am not perfect
I'm living a decent life.

I can't hold on much longer
What am I trying to find?
Not pleasing you, not pleasing me
eagerly seeking rapture.

I have no one to fool with my light
growing cold, into an endless place
with peeling skin...so many contradictions
I live on a house under the moon
in black and white we can still see the stars.

And before me is insanity
And around me is the forgotten self
she lives in a broken down anxiously
awaiting some sort of relief.

so selfishly she pretends
to care about what they feel
but it's a fake kind of thing
Who could tell her it was real?





A contest entry

If you read this, then please comment

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments


  • Hetha gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    So far, you have a great entry. It has depth, flow, emotion, and voice, a point-of-view. I would suggest(take it or leave it) that you check your punctuation again, however, as there are points in your piece, I feel, that would be better defined, and stronger with some added punctuation. (Questions without question marks, things like that). Overall I like it, and I thank you for entering my contest. I will probably read this again later, when I have more time.
    Good luck to you

    • Hetha gold member
      July 11
      Edit | Reply
      Wow! Much better and much improved since I first read it. It still retains the high quality and powerful voice. Now it even has that extra something, that brings it more flavor. Excellent!