A Life Saved, Twice In One Night

Dancing. Rocking. Bumping, grinding, having fun. Club scene. Smokers corner. Drinking corner. Drug corner. Sex corner. Four corners of fun.

I visit the smokers corner first.
      Foggy air. Menthols, non-menthols, cloves. Us queens love the cloves. We love the taste, the smell, the feeling it gives our bodies, fake stimulation. Feel good vibes. Talk of entertainment. Did you see the way he looked in that vest. That was so two years ago, or That boy has a nice body, accentuating the i. Inhale, exhale, breathe in the death. Breathe in the sickness. Let the bodies hit the floor.

I walk back inside and visit the Drinker's corner.
    Sexy white male, average height, average body. Drinking a Gin and tonic. Someone has good taste. Thinking of how good he will taste I walk over and say my hellos, and flirtation kicks in. Touching his body like it's mine, I grab on to his butt and he bites his lip. My hand slips down his pants and I'm feeling. No love in this club, just fuck. He likes my "vibes" and orders me a drink.
    What's your poison? he asks, winking at me. Gin and Tonic, I reply. Someone has good taste. he smiles. I turn around and look out into the crowd of people. Dancing never looked this good. People with their shirts off, fucking on the dance floor. It's like soft-core porn in this place. People touching, hands groping, grabbing. My kind of place. I turn back and he hands me the drink.
    It's gone in seconds and he has another coming. I start feeling like the world revolves around me and he holds me as I stumble around, dancing to the beat. I feel him holding my body, but it's as if he's not there. And then I dissolve slowly into this world. Everything is beautiful. The people are just lights, strobing the room in a collage of color and passion.

I float to the drug corner where two teenagers hang and see us approaching.
    In the far off distance, I hear Phil, this guy I'm hanging around say green, coke and x please. Here Nate, take these. He pops pills into my mouth. I giggle as I wash them down with cold gin. I feel the little round marbles travel down my body, like a roller coaster. Two maybe three. I lost count, not that it matters. All is good.
    A brush of air chokes me in a good way. Outside again. I feel like we're flitting around this place  of faded music. I hear it pounding on the walls. I see the walls moving to the beat and it is  wonderful. I put my head against the wall and I begin to move with the concrete resting against  me. On the ground, laughing. Phil lights up a cigarette he made himself and tells me it's good    stuff. I trust him. He's making everything around feel good. I inhale, hold it. Exhale. Let the  smoke rise into my face and breathe in through my nose, watching the smoke fade into the sky.             
  The stars above us look so close I try to capture them. I'm flying. I take another hit of smoke and  hold it longer. I've had probably twelve hits and I realize, Phil has his own cigarette. I giggle and  finish mine off, smoking it until I feel the heat on my fingers. I drop it, laughing as my skin gets  burned. I feel the warmth and it feels great. I lick my fingers. They taste like rainbows.
    Back inside, we turn into a hall where men are sitting with little tables all around. A great big tea party and I'm invited. I sit next to this lesbian and she is kissing her girlfriend. I smile. I greet them and they return a hello to me. There's a blue table that seems to be florescent in the black lights.
    Phil takes out a plastic bag and I see white powder and my eyes gleam. It looked like heaven in a bag. I asked him if that was for me. He sits down and pours out some of this substance. I look at it. It's talking to me. We hold a conversation about politics and it's not interesting so we change the subject. The lesbians are laughing and kissing my face saying I'm so cute. I hug them saying I love you guys. Phil takes out a credit card and I ask what he's paying for? He laughs and I watch him separate some grains from the pile of white. He makes nine lines of powder. He tells me it's candy. I go to eat some, he shakes his head and tells me to watch.
    Phil takes a dollar bill out of his wallet and rolls it into a straw-like object. He bring his head closer to the powder and inhales through his nose the white powder on the table. I was mystified. The powder disappeared into Phil. I was mesmerized. I asked if I could try. He nodded.
    I took the dollar bill and brought my face to the table, put the dollar in my nose and inhaled air this powder into my nose. A sharp feeling flew into my head and the room moved. My eyes widened and I took another. And another. And another. Phil was doing lines of this beautiful stuff too. My nose was all sniffy and I felt light headed but good. After doing my lines, I wiped my nose and smiled at Phil. He said let's go.

And he took me to the Sex corner.
    It was this room off into the darkness. We entered and I saw pink and red lights. And it felt like sex in this room. I looked at him, he was jumping around in circles, licked my lips, and stripped for him slowly and lustfully. When I was completely naked, I jumped at him, letting him catch me and bring me to a cushioned bench. He kissed my neck and bit sensually into it, leaving red spots all along my neckline. I felt his passion in my hips. His beat moving to mine and he entered me. I was off to love land. Hearts and rainbows and beautiful skies. It was all so beautiful.
    And I was gone. Everything was a blur.


I woke up, panting. I was in my friend's apartment, sleeping on a mattress. It was so uncomfortable. I didn't know where I was at first so I screamed Where Am I?!? A boy came to me and asked what's wrong. My friend. He is my friend.

And then the night all came back to me.


I told him the tale of the night leaving out the wonderful, amazing part of it.

FRIEND - What kinds of drugs did you do?

ME - Why?

FRIEND - Just tell me okay Nate?

ME - Okay. Six Gin and Tonics, weed, some ex like two or three pops, and...cocaine. That's all I think.

FRIEND - How much coke did you do?

ME - Like seven lines I think.

FRIEND - Oh my god, I'm calling 911.

ME - NO don't please don't do that.

FRIEND - I have to Nate.

ME - Please.

FRIEND - OK. What I need you to do is sit here. Don't do anything, don't eat anything just sit.

ME - OK.

My friend calls his friend who lives downstairs. His friend knows a lot about drugs. His friend told him not to eat anything, or fall asleep. But I was so hungry. But I didn't eat. I just sat there. My friend came over to me and told me what I have to do in order for him not to call an ambulance.
And then, I started fading out, and collapsed onto the bed.

Resuscitated back to life. First time.

My friend's crying and I tell him it's okay. He's yelling and telling me he almost called 911. I thanked him for not doing it. An hour had passed. My body was frail and weak.
I told him I want to lie down. He refused, he sat next to me and said it's okay it will be over soon.
We watched a movie in the dark, he'd turn and look at me to see if my eyes had rolled to the back of my head but I was just watching the movie.
And then a sharp pain hit my heart and I felt the world rise above me and again, I fell back, unconscious.

Resuscitated back to life. Second time.

FRIEND - I should really call an ambulance. I don't know if I have the strength to do CPR again.

ME - I'm fine. I'm okay. Just let me sit.

FRIEND - If it happens again, I'm calling an ambulance for you.

ME - Okay.


It didn't happen again. Time passed, TV shows started and ended. Movies began and finished. Sky went from dark to light. People began to walk the city streets. I watched out the window, yawning and stretching like I had slept through the night. My friend got a call and it was the person who helped us yesterday. He told my friend I could rest now.

As soon as he told me, I fell to sleep. Not forgetting that my friend just saved my life twice in one night.

I never touched another drug ever again.



I would like to give thanks to my friend, Steven, who saved my life twice.
I love you man and I am forever in debt for your strength and love for me.