the floor shifts
under my feet
and I sink knee-
deep in pandemonium.
"honey, the eggs
are burning". vomit
churning, rising.
"the eggs-"
Author notes
I tried at least.
A contest entry
- Try this... or not by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 6, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really like the concrete vagueness of this. I can imagine feeling really ill or being pregnant or something, but you make me have to think for that. I also really like how this could actually be a metaphor. It just makes me think of so many possible interpretations, and I absolutely love that in poetry.
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This is a very intresting piece.
Visions start pouring out right from the beginning.
Could be a typical rush morning breakfast.
Kept me right on the " EGGE "
a very euneque style of writing.
Is it yours?
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it's like you're going crazy and the one you love
isn't noticing...that's what it reads like to me.
i liked it.
peace to all ~flight
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A wonderful work that evoked a whole range of emotions and visuals, just loved it!
mj.
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lol Indeed you tried. This reminds me of my typical breakfast. lol. I'm uh... not much of a cook I'm sure this poem perfectly describes my husband's reaction! Thanks for entering. This was too cute!
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interesting... i liked this piece... short... rough around the edges...
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you have done a great job.
good luck!
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