Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Soul flight

With gentle breath....

Did I escape

into winged being.

My life I breathed
into my sister soul

of amber and azure life
and butterfly shape.

I knew myself as I was meant to be
a creature of the wind and rain,

A moment's existence
that fluttered love's cry

in the stuttering of a heart beat.

In that moment,
I truly lived.



A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Awwww... once again, this is just so beautiful

    Loving the title "Soul Flight" - It really catches me, and takes me soaring!

    "With gentle breath....

    Did I escape

    into winged being" - Just one thing.. Let me show you...


    "With gentle breath, did I escape
    into winged being.

    My life I breathed into
    my sister soul,
    of amber and azure life
    and butterfly shape.

    I knew myself as I was meant to be,
    a creature of the wind and rain.
    A moment's existence
    that fluttered love's cry.

    In the stuttering of just one heart beat...

    In that moment;
    I truly lived.


    Let me know what you think - after the contest


    Hope you don't take offense - I am only trying to be constructive
    I am loving the pure emotion you put into this piece; Thanks again for entering

    Always, Amber



  • Liquid Robot
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    I like the rhythm and flow (I like writing in that almost 'ragged' way, with short stanzas, too). I was thinking the poem might turn out to just describe 'the wonderful life of a butterfly' but the last stanza added some story and your feelings. Funny how a last stanza can change the poem so drastically...

  • stavykm gold member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply

    This Is Beautiful

    A moment's existence
    that fulttered love's cry

    in the stuttering of a heart beat.

    In that moment,
    I truly lived.

    This is a beautiful poem in which is written so delicately with beautiful insight. Thank you for sharing with me and best of luck in the contest.
    Many Blessings
    Kelle Marie


    • Dark Otter gold member
      July 18
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you!

      You caught the part that I wanted to breathe life into. Your comment bought me a piece of happiness that I hope I can hang onto.

  • Ephiphany gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning piece you've penned here. Absolutely lovely flow and words withing.
    Thanks for sharing and good luck.

    -ephiphany


    • Dark Otter gold member
      July 5
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks Ephiphany!

      Sometimes, I have the audacity to think that I'm growing as a poet, then I get slapped back to reality. 6 months here and I still love the routine.
  • Just beautiful! Oh, how sweet it would be to live the life of a butterfly... Thank you for entering this wonderful piece!
1 - 9 of 9