The wind does not whistle
Through the barren trees
Moaning
Who lose their limbs
Piecewise
Songs do not hang
In the air festively
Remembered
Days where joy
Spread blanket-wise
Like sunlight.
I do not move
--though I sway
Listlessly--
like a weak rooted
gravestone
flooded and droughted
repetitiously.
I doubt the miles
of empty naked branches
or the spirits that dance
round them malicious.
doubt memories
and expectations
I doubt the southern
hospitable
and grand waltzes
near raging fireplaces
ten feet tall.
Author notes
Davidbetzer. prompt: Apathy. I don't know if I was supposed to include that.
A contest entry
- 3 MOS. Gold MEMBERSHIP-updated to 600 points! and feature, Prompt: APATHY- Give Dark Writing a Try... by ears2hearyou.
1300 points, ended July 10, 2008, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This is so beautifully written
it has all the attributes I love in a poem...the imagery,
emotion, and intelligence....congrats. you have been
added to the finalist list...and I predict a trophy
will be awarded for this powerful poem...written
tenderly and firmly.
ears/Seattle
JUDGING THIS IS A KILLER!
I may need to call 911 after this is over!
dang!
-
*points to the word doubt in the poem* "doubt memories" that one,It should be capitalized, beginning of a sentence. BUT WOW...I dunno...but some lines touch me differently then others...but these few i truly admire..
"
The wind does not whistle
Through the barren trees
Moaning
Who lose their limbs
Piecewise"
Its really...(am i at a loss of words??!?) puzzling...YES perfect word. Those lines are very puzzling i had to read them a couple of times but then it snapped...and they were so good >.< I really enjoyed the 'peicewise' part very clever.
It's interesting you got this out of apathy...superb
~Maddie
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