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tired







as evening progresses
discombobulated thoughts
tumble over my pages
like circus madmen . . .
hoping to find
their sanity
in the morning






Author notes

mumbling to myself here...

A contest entry

I love constructive criticism

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Comments


  • crisstiena
    February 8

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    discombobulated...

    ... don'tcha just love that word?
    This is a beautiful little piece parcelled up in a tight, round ball of imagery and word-play. These are my favourite kind of poems... short, sharp and leading the reader anywhere the bounds of their imagination cares to take them.

    Excellent, my friend.
    ~ crisstiena ♦

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 9, 2008

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    I like the mumbling -

    love the circus thoughts.

    And the word 'discombobulated' is a great one!

  • WritingWretch silver member
    July 4, 2008

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    Yes!

    Excellent title, good line brakes. A great single simile poem, that can stand by itself but which I would be interested in seeing expanded, notwithstanding your penchant for brevity. Keep mumbling, sounds good to me; man of few words.