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Pauses

Missing image

Between the pages written by day within one's thoughts,

where the ink flows in tales, predictable and ordinary,

the heart pauses to lie down in memory's meadows

among the soft and silky pillow's blades,

which gently silence any cares

as a soothing lullaby

and let the mind flutter with questions

about if life were more like a dream.

 

Late afternoon visits with soft waves of cooling calm,

swaying in the spell of tranquility's hammock,

suspended between two pillars of nostalgia

of times when magic was real,

bringing wings to every morning.

 

Sunrise was a flight

without gravity of concern,

but love wind had yet to touch.

 

Butterfly passions,

rising from innocence's cocoon

always makes the soar through the hour's skies

a sail of lilting sensory kisses,

while waiting with peace flowing in the eyes

for the one who gave her life its gossamer plumes of joy,

delicate lace of feelings

adorning with subtle smiles and sighs

in the amber wash of sunset's light.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Alright.. I love this piece, to pieces The only thing, is that I wish there was MORE punctuation... It seems to ramble on a bit - beautifully, but, it begins to bore me as a babble of emotions. I'm not meaning to cut your work down, I am sure this could just be the result of Automatic writing, which I do often. But I usually go back and try to tidy it up a bit with punctuation.
    Ok enough with that!

    "Between the pages written by day" I love this as a beginning line written by 'day' - just lovely

    "where the ink flows in tales, predictable and ordinary," I love the beginning of this, 'where the ink flows in tales' - I can just visualize the pen spilling itself onto the pages! 'predictable and ordinary' - seem to contradict eachother, I don't feel like they fit together in flow... Maybe something like predictable and 'un'ordinary - or 'un'predictable and ordinary. Just a thought

    "the heart pauses to lie down in memory's meadows" Just a beautiful and capturing image - this makes me want to go there, and rest

    "among the soft and silky pillow's blades,
    which gently silence any cares
    as a soothing lullaby
    and let the mind flutter with questions
    about if life were more like a dream" - Here's one area where I wish there were more punctuation... I love the words, but the punctuation could make it flow better.

    "swaying in the spell of tranquility's hammock," what a soothing visual and feel this line has to it!

    "Butterfly passions,
    rising from innocence's cocoon" This is definately my favorite line in this piece, I love anything that grows; flourishes

    "delicate lace of feelings
    adorning with subtle smiles and sighs
    in the amber wash of sunset's light." -in the amber wash of sunset's light - I love this, because well, my name is Amber


    Overall, I see great potential for this write... So much depth and feeling, beautiful words within, that could bring even a male to tears

    Thank you again for taking the time on writing a piece for my contest - Always, Amber











  • dustookie2
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    To walk within the lines take a break from life just to stop in beauty's pages.Pause in comfort and balance to rest.You inspire thoughts and imaginings. An excellent take of this prompt ... you have laid claim with this beautiful poem crafted with talent. Good luck in this contest. Thank you for the pleasure.


  • Ephiphany gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply

    This is very beautiful

    loved the way you constructed this. Your words are very calm, as I continued in reading such a masterpiece.

    Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
    -ephiphany

  • Excellent

    Beautifully penned, with beautiful words, delicatelly stated as a gentle butterfly...Katie

  • Wonderful visuals, feelings, emotions and flow - quite the orchestrated piece of work here! Thank you so much for entering this harmonious piece of work!

  • stavykm gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply

    Just Beautiful

    So beautifully written and so soothing to read. What a lovely poem of imagery and deep thought. Best of luck in the contest.
    Much Love
    Kelle Marie

  • Ohhhhhhhh, my dear brother,

    I know my heart just melted with your words in this one.. *SIGH*

    It is almost like it took me to a place of peaceful serenity, and comfort!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta

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