He drew his intentions with a violet pencil
upon the lid of my golden eye
as I walked into the seductive ebony shadows
he left a cinnaber hand print on my soul.
the colour of his eyes would be remembered as a fuchsine petal
seemingly innocent as a citrine sea
yet they were deeper and darker than a vampire's burnt ocher
lips
Author notes
do I suck.. please oh wise one, tell me so that if I do I may change my ways.....
A contest entry
- It Begins With... by Dalaney.
825 points, ended July 7, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best AP Poet Contest by davidbetzer.
1500 points, ended August 2, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Loved the authors notes. Love the thesaurus feature on word processor programs. Nothing wrong with using it if you understand the intricacies of language arts. Unfortunately you, rather than musing over your word choice, picked the most obscure synonym.
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it is a bad thing to take the road less traveled? or does this just simply not work in this case?
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free falling over a cliff is not a path. When the road is fluency, deviation is destruction.
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crazy as you are I believe I understand. Thank you for your very carefully consrtucted criticism.
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creative, and worth many reads, which, i have to admit, i have already done
I like this. Love, Lane
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Short and sweet. Very nicely written. =) Interesting way to take on the prompt. Keep on writing.
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Short, but I love it. =] Good luck in the contest!
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