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The Day Choice Waved Her Hand at Me

Missing image

 

 

I remember a day

when there was no way out of the darkness
    when hope was just a glimpse gleaned from others
        when my purpose for living was only to die.

I remember an afternoon

when Choice waved her hand at me
    when it seemed easier to sink into the abyss
        when it was too hard to raise my heavy arm towards her.

I remember a moment

when my spirit said no to Death
    when my soul cried for one more chance
        when my body responded to my cry for help.

It was just a moment in time
but that moment made me continue the course
as sad and lonely as that course was.

What made that life-moment for me?

I remembered the love I would leave behind
    the son and daughter of tomorrow
        the students of decades to come
            the marriage remade in heaven.

I remembered the Love that passes all understanding
    I reached for the surface
        I chose to live instead of drown
    into nothingness
that day.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

There was a day in 1988 when I chose to live.

It was on a deep dive in Cozumel. The current took me way too deep. At first, I gave up all hope and allowed myself to be swept down to my death. I had very little to live for at that time in my life and was battling depression, multiple miscarriages, and alcoholism. But then I realized the moment and literally saw God's hand come down into the depth to pull me up. I came to my senses, inflated my BC, and rose to the surface fighting against blacking out.

 

The next three or four years were even harder than the years before. But I am so glad I chose to live because life is precious and God did redeem my pain and my lost years...

 

This photo was taken by my hubby in 2004 under the beautiful waters at Grand Cayman. Please do not use without permission. 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • amaranthine lover gold member
    July 28
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    How beautiful this was. Whoa! I can see why it's so decorated!


  • Maggie Kay gold member
    June 19

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very touching emotion fulled poem. you have poured youself out on to the paper and it is such a wonderful piece full of strength and hope. you seem to be a very strong person and im glad you decided to share this with me
    thank you so much for entering
    keep it up
    kmp


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    February 7

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is such a wonderfully written story of hope and survival. Sometimes it's hard when we are lost in a world of unhappiness and frustration. When we have nothing to live for or look forward to, it feels so much easier to just let it all go. Glad that you made it through and are alright.

    Congratulations on all of your trophies here and thanks for sharing your story! I wish you many more years of happiness and love. Take care!




    Jeremy0826


  • Forgotten Anomaly
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sometimes I wish I had the same drive to live but if that happened I'd probably just let myself sink to the bottom and die in my watery grave.

    This is fantastically writen, the format and wording is wonderful. I love the concept and how you tied it all up in the A/N. It's a good thing you chose to live that day for if you hadn't we wouldn't have this wonderful poem ontop of other things.


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! This is a truly inspiring piece of writing. I'm so glad you made the decision to live, the world would be lost without such beautiful poetry as this. I love the acceptance of this poem, it has a wonderfully calming atmosphere to it, while still imparting these incredibly wise words.
    Thank you so much for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • xXcrimsontearsXx
    July 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    jaded teardrop

    This is a difficult concept for some to grasp, yet you did a terrific job in writing this. i can relate to this poem easily. You did a fantastic job of writing this. i loved reading it because it touches me in the heart.
    remember, it's your choice to be happy... thank you for this read, well done...


  • nature mithya
    July 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Difficult when surrounded you no hope.

    If we all can be strong and God places his hand on our efforts anything is possible.
    Just this wee little effort from us give life a new dimension to exist in happiness throwing sorrow and defeat.

  • Amarige
    July 14, 2008

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    Wonderful touching piece..Congrats in your Gold..very well deserved!
    Ruby


  • deercatcher
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    When it is God's voice, he doesn't have to say much to change everything. Because then, no matter what, you know that he has a plan, he cares, he covers.


  • Desire gold member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank You!!

    Thank You for Your entry: The Day Choice Waved Her Hand at Me
    This piece tugged hard at my Spirit, I read Your words several times and am Blessed along with others You are still here with us for I imagine the moment within the pool of liquid- was questionable but You did not give up
    Excellent Voice to Inspire
    Powerful images You have brought forth

    Thank You for sharing Your Heart also Spirit!
    Best wishes to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    **Judging will be done shortly...
    Many blessings too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • lyna05
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful work

    I reaally love the way that you wrote this there is so much truth in this peice. I love how you expressed the way things were then and how things kinda faided to all the things you would of been. This is truely an amazing peice work Good luck in the Contest.


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    July 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a great insight into wat one feels at that moment. Great write sent chills down Than you.


  • HugsForEveryone
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a great poem. I especially loved how you capitalized important words, like "Love." Thank you for choosing to live.
    I also liked how you added into some parts of your poem, like "I remember a day." That was a great way to make me want to read more. It added a lot of flair.
    Nice job, and good luckm in the contest!
    ~Pandy


  • Nevel
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hi, an excellent and impressed poem, full of pointed imagery...I really like your choice of words, the way you use Choice as a personification, very unique....and so important at the same time! Thanks for sharing
    Nevel


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very well written ,living life to the fullest is a must, nice job and form
    good luck in his contest
    Lin


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amen and bless your heart

    This is totally an awesome write od saving oneself from eternal sorrows.I know what you say about the hands reaching down to save you its the final quest of another reaching out the one you so often never turn dowm for in the choice of the final battle we choose hope and love and the need to breath again and feel our heartbeat so stronly witihin its vibration it says I shall live.


  • Rose Angel gold member
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Between your title for your write, and your story it is extremely well done! Your experience of almost drowning and making a choice, by your will to live, and having it happen, makes a powerful statement for life! What a metaphor you have used.Bravo!


  • Gwenevere
    July 9, 2008

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    Excellent.

    Love is a giver of truth in the most desperate of circumstances.I am glad that hand of love reached for you at your time of need, Ros


  • Roaddog Wolf
    July 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    powerful story and well written the message is a good one and says allot about faith and living. I am glad you made the choice you made and you are here to write this for me to read.


  • Solo Wisp gold member
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Uplifting tale of choice ... sometimes we find ourselves feeling selfish in taking our life ... because of one fleeting moment or a string of events, we were down ... hope and faith will work wonders soo, whatever it takes to come to the surface and beyond; survive, experience, and pass on those truths.

    Bravo!


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very lovely poem. I can relate to it well. I have had a couple of near death experiences. I fought them hard. But, then, once when wallowing in self-absorbed angst I was to give it all up. I came around and decided I would live. It was also the time in life that I found God.

    Thank you for sharing a very meaningful poem.


  • kishi-tenshi
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    superb!

    when my spirit said no to Death
    when my soul cried for one more chance
    when my body responded to my cry for help.


    ..I love this, and i really did experienced this...


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing your story Joanne.

    The different situations that make us dig deep!

    phew!

    Sol


  • Talking Toni gold member
    July 8, 2008

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    A Great Testimony...

    for many in the same situation to read and take strenght from it to fight for their own chioce and to choose life rather than death. Death is so final and it is the end but with life there is always a new dawn to try again until we get it right. Thanks for sharing!!!~~Toni~~


  • Arkbear gold member
    July 7, 2008

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    Hello :)

     

    Gosh.....yes....I am so glad you chose Life as well.....or I would not have had the chance to read such a beautiful write.........or to meet you ~

     

    I would say...every single stanza is the most beautiful.....such strength in each line ~

     

    Thank you for sharing your testimony in your authros' notes.........it is a blessing to make that decision to continue on, and to not give up on what life has to offer.....good luck and God bless you,

     

    Bear ~


  • islekine gold member
    July 5, 2008

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    Beautiful Write!

    So very happy you chose life!!! I have never myself,
    considered suicide...I've always felt I had a purpose...and in my heart I know what it is....I guess I am truly blessed....that doesn't mean I've led a clean easy life! lol...Wonderful entry! Best wishes in the contest...and LIFE!!!

  • Rose Angel gold member
    July 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A precious profound write of words and emotion..right from the heart! Your choice of vocabulary, the style of your paragraphs, you have made a stunning argument for Life! From beginning to end, a masterpiece!


  • hollowriver
    July 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is intence

1 - 29 of 29