Some verses by my favourites that make me laugh or sigh
A pocket watch so I can tell the time
A flashing badge, and message board to prove that I'm not shy
A silver dollar and a lucky dime
My wallet has my credit cards, more poems and some cash
A picture of my kids, a book of stamps
And with it are two penknives, bunch of keys, another flash
And batteries that should be in some lamps
My Oystercard, for buses, five quid note and Meggazones
A card that lists phone-numbers I should know
Same magnets, and a buzzing thing, a pair of mobile phones
Some seeds I thought my wife might like to grow
There's tissues for my hay fever and specs so I can see
I'm really not too sure what this is called
A screwdriver, a handy tool, all things so dear to me
And so much more you all would be appalled
My pockets are extensions of my rather cluttered mind
And I fill them up with things I like to hold
If you've a gadget that you've lost, I bet that I can find
Another like it in the deepest fold
So I rattle rather noisily and bulge around my hips
With things that I should really throw away
But if I see something that I like then into there it slips
So I've always got some things with which to play!
Author notes
Meggazones are cough sweets that taste revolting and work. I haven't mentioned the other wallet, pens, laser pointer, toys to give to passing kids and pretty ladies, a book and any number of other things ...
An Oystercard is a prepayment card for using transport in London, rather like electronic cash that doesn't really work and a "quid" is a British pound a five quid note is about ten dollars.
A contest entry
- About your Person by NurseChilly.
1400 points, ended July 22, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write Me a List Poem by chordphrute.
1000 points, ended August 29, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Silver - nice work, bro!
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Hello and thanks for entering
Of course, thank you first for the author notes. The only thing I wasn't sure of was the Oystercard. What an odd little name for such a thing!
This entry is truly lovely. You followed my rules and integrated your own. I generally dislike rhyme, however it subtlety lends itself quite nicely to your structure. I enjoyed your objects - I like your adjectives and the manner in which you incorporated description to the objects. Much like a few of the other entries, I like how you give weight to some items more than others.
My favorite line is the sixth in the second stanza - fantastic and absolutely something I would say. It made me chuckle.
As far as suggestions go, while I like your input you include as the speaker's voice and the agency change it gives the piece, I think some of it's a bit redundant. I also think your pockets need to be cleaned
LOL
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How come I hadn't seen this before!
OK, you enter a contest hosted by an American poet, and you explain what Meggazones are, but not what an oystercard is, what a quid is...
Och Jings - I should complain about being cryptic?
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Good point it was written for a Manc originally
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this is good Jeff.. even with the rhyming.. lolol.. which is very good..
lololol
thanks for the fine entry, sorry about the delay in judging this, but it will happen soon
many thanks for the lovely entry..
Gilly.xx -
One question-What is the buzzing thing????
I did wonder why men are always fidgeting inside their pockets...now I know-well I think I do!
Hey-you want to see what I've got in my handbag!
xxx Bumpy
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