when I think of you
the scent of pineapple is in the air
this hint of nostalgia
makes me sigh
because you are the anachronism
that makes the past come up again
although I don't want to remember
A contest entry
- Try this... or not by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 6, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Missing by Cherokee.
300 points, ended August 10, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver to Gold by Age of Rain.
360 points, ended September 27, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites by leander.
730 points, ended November 30, 2008, 150 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOLD DIGGERS ONLY (just for losers) by tarcus.
950 points, ended April 8, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quick Blurb!! by Jepardy.
400 points, ended April 26, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ends November 13, 1079 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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This is great. I love the emotion that you have in here. And the sense of near longing mixed with the dash of despair. Brilliant, truly. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck to you.
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Beautiful descriptions - I'm not actually too sure how to comment on this one because yo uwrote it lovely, certainly no criticism here
thanks for entering. -
When I think of you
the scent of pineapple is in the air
this hint of nostalgia
makes me sigh
although I don't want to remember.
Now if this is all that you had written^^^^^^^^ it may have been better recieved in my opinion. -
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Thank you for telling me your opinion on this write, I appreciate your honesty.
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I love short poems that are packed with so much punch. Lots of emotions, great job.
Thanks for sharing and good luck.
Justgot2loveme
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Congrats on the bronze. The first two lines just gripped me in this and I found the whole piece to be so very well done. It speaks volumes in few lines and you should be very proud to have placed in a contest of over 200 poets. Take a bow! I applaud you
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Short and beautiful. Sometimes I feel like short poems say so much more because they're more precise with their wording, etc etc. And I love the bit about the scent of pineapples. ^^ Nice job!
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What I most like about poems that are short, is that they can be poignant when done creatively.
You have a nice 'growth' in the first stanza, that leads to a great point of poetical ecstasy. That last stanza really hits home, with a big bang actually...
Shoving this to preliminary list
Leander -
cool poem
this is a cool poem!!!! congratulations on the silver!!! have a nice day, -slick99 -
maybe a pineapple biscuit poem then is in order
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well done
Yes we smell a food or a perfume and it all comes back
people we lost or times we cant have back. Some times they make us happy sometimes sad.good luck in the contest -
congratuations on the silver! isn't it odd how our senses affect us? bringing up memories, etc. Nice job on this and thank you for the time you took to enter.
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well done on the silver! Weird how a smell can have that effect, or a song, etc, in the reverse situation, too, so very poignantly.
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Sorry, I needed to laugh at that one...
It is sad, kind of. But someone it makes me giggle. Is Friday an... Anspielung auf du-weisst-schon-wen?
That's why it was kind of funny, insider you know. The topic isn't funny at all, not even the insider, but you know it sometimes feels better to laugh at the sad things. "Always look on the bright si-hight of life, dedubdedubdedubdedub" Sorry
Keep on writing, coz I'm keeping on!
Jo
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Yep. exactly.
btw, Anspielung = allusion (thank you, LEO
)
I showed it to Ulli on the day of the "China Project Presentation", and she was all like, "Huh??! What you talking 'bout??"
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short sweet and to the point very good poem
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anachronism... now there's a mouthful. Congratulations to you!!!!!
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Why is it, the things we want to forget we can't and the ones we want to remember are sometimes so hard?
Good luck in the contest!
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I think this is good. And I haven't seen the word anachronism for a while, though I might describe myself as anachronistic. Or should that be iconoclastic? Oops, just increased the adjective count!
Nice poem. -
Very well written and so clever. You created such amazing imagery without one adjective!
All the very best with this
gaylene
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Cleverly written, nicely penned, and smartly thought-out, fine young poet person. Good going, all 'round!
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This is just along the lines of what I'm looking for. I only but Brautigan's name out there in case someone was stuck and couldn't figure out how to write without adjectives. lol. Loved the last line of this. You capture a mood that is subtle but still incredibly moving. Thanks for entering.
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