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Humbled Am I...this Fourth of July.

 

 

A stoic face of ancestry smiled silently upon dusty fireplace mantle.

Deeply sculpted lines reflected labors dawn to long past setting sun.

What was the shield of faith she wore gleaming from her eyes.

Purest silver, ruby tears of loss overcome shone labors might in determination.

Humbled am I...this fourth of July for the enduring cost of liberty and freedom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Contest prompt: A ballad or narrative short in 5 lines or less.
(I can't believe i did this....giggle..i feel short of breath, woozy even!)
(limited line deprivation...is painful indeed.)

My great-grandmother was a member and reigning leader
of : Daughters of the American Revolution.
Despite the time that had past, these women worked
tirelessly reaching out to help other families.

We women give from our wombs
beloved sons and daughters
understanding the heavy cost
of freedom....in this year 2008...
may we not forget the
many mothers who weep the painful
cost of freedom with their soulful tears.


picture: talented artistry of glittergraphics.com

A contest entry

Please don't be shy to comment...it's how we grow poetically!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Wrinkling Mind silver member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    You always use so many pictures in your poems ! but this is a really well written, lovely write! I really enjoyed this one.

  • Potato
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    It is a good poem, but it seem like you tried really hard to have all that vocab it there. That is just me. Maybe you are that amazing. Who knows, but it isn't my type. But that doesn't make it bad.
    Nice work.

  • CelticQueen gold member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    It was going great until the third line and then you lost me. I don't understand that line at all or have any idea what you mean to say. Would you like to take another look at it?

    (Sit down, dear, and take a deep breath. Wouldn't want you to pass out from the effort! Hard to write short poetry, isn't it?) cq

  • faderman1959 silver member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    Well done! i Hope you have a great holiday weekend! My neigbbor from the south!


  • Dorick
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    "Incomprehensible." -Edna. what's that supposed to mean?

    Great write, straightforward but pretty like the pictures. Personnally, I hate fireworks, they're made in china, but that doesn't take away from their purpose.
    I do love explosions, it makes me remember the warriors that waged war to own this land. We're an aggressive, but compassionate people, sacrificing our lives for the freedom of others.
    Great write.

  • Creatress silver member
    July 5

    Edit | Reply
    the poem was well written, its just a shame we don't have a lot of liberty or freedom in this country anymore....

  • Edna Sweetlove
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Incomprehensible.

  • Lucy. gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! You did a wonderful job with only five lines! Brilliantly descriptive. Well done.


  • Cerulean gold member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write for the day

1 - 9 of 9